The Night in Tierra Fima | Acuzar Empire Series 1 | COMPLETED

Kabanata 45

Kabanata 45

Drown

I knew it to myself that I was a bomb; silent, unnoticed, but when the time was up, or exposed or triggered—everyone around will be wounded from the outburst—even die from the explosion. I knew it very well, of course. I was the bomb. The ticking was inside me, and the trigger would always be him.

Levi is my weakness as well as my daughter.

If I was the one who planted the bomb inside me, he gave the bomb to be planted.

No one deserved the explosive. No one deserve to be hurt, wounded or die with me. Especially a guy who would do his best to make the ticking bomb stop—but couldn't — and how I wished he could.

"Lumiere?" His voice from the other side was low and soft.

Ilang minuto na rin itong kumakatok sa pinto but I didn't move a single muscle.

"Lumiere," he then called me again.

Tumingin ako sa taas and I saw a hook. Five years ago, I was tempted to put a rope around my neck. Finding out about my brother's death and hearing how my mom cried that time is still killing me up to this day. Later on, my mom gave up and took her life also— left me nothing but my own. Punong-puno ng iba't ibang boses ang utak ko hanggang ngayon. Now that the surrounding was silent, no shouts or cries, just the beating of my heart, I got tempted again.

But of course, I couldn't do it. I was too scared to feel the burning hurt again. From that moment, I suddenly forgot about my Asteria and let the dim light ate me again.

"Lumiere, I'm sorry," said the voice outside.

After what happened to the hospital the other day, I was so scared to go outside. Dalawang araw na akong hindi lumalabas mula sa guest room ng Casa. Alam kong hinahanap na ako ng anak ko but I'm too scared to go outside and let her see me like this. Sa tuwing aatakihin ako ng ganito ay ayokong may ibang makakakita sa'kin. Lalong-lalo na silang dalawa.

I was a black hole, sucking the happiness away. But who would be happy after what happened, right?

Shame on Levi who wanted to be sucked by my black hole. Shame on me for letting Levi's happiness be drained by my stupid black hole. Ramdam ko pa rin ang pagsisisi ko nang sabihin ko iyon sa kaniya. I told him those words like I was already given him up just like before pero sa tuwing iniisip ko ang pang-iinsulto ng mom niya sa anak ko ay namamatay ako nang paulit-ulit.

I closed my eyes. The tears were nowhere, I stayed still. I didn't mean to tell him that. And I was sure Levi is blaming himself for the outburst. He kept saying sorry and I kept hurting.

Every sorry from him felt like a knife stabbing my heart.

Another knock and I heard another voice outside. Maya-maya pa, tuluyan na itong bumukas.

Fuck that door. Bakit pa naimbento ang spare keys?