Octo-Oneshots

Two Old Men

"So tell me about your Kwazii again." Ranger Marsh asked lightly as the elderly pirate cat sitting across from him poured another cup of coffee and took a bite of a scone.

"Well," Calico Jack began around the food in his mouth, "Me grandson be a clever, sweet pirate. Brave as anything and as good looking as he is smart. 'E gets it from his mother, of course. What about yer Tweak?"

Ranger Marsh smiled at the thought of his lovely daughter, "She's a smart girl. Resourceful and tough as nails, she claims, but she's softer than a baby bunny's cottontail. And she's beautiful. Most lovely person I've ever laid eyes on." Tears came to his eyes as he reminisced on old times where he'd put stand his little girl on his toes, her feet half the size of his, and twirl her around the room as she giggled and begged him for more. Now, his little girl was a smart, capable woman who'd be blessing others with her presence as well as him.

"AHOY, GRANDAD!" A screech from the door nearly made the Ranger fall out of his seat.

"AHOY, KWAZII!" A second shout made his paw fly up to his hat. Like grandfather, like grandson, "FANCY A SPOT O' COFFEE, LAD?!" Oh no.

"AYE, THANKS!" Kwazii hollered back and quickly downed the entire mug of coffee his grandfather poured for him, "Nice to see ya again, Ranger!" The boy turned and grinned at him.

"Nice to see you too, Kwazii." Ranger Marsh tipped his hat at the younger pirate.

"And look who decided to wake up before 1 PM!" Kwazii exclaimed happily as a very sleepy and very grumpy Tweak walked into the room. Tweak waved a paw at him and mumbled something incoherently as she trudged toward the coffee pot.

"Good mornin', sunshine!" Ranger Marsh beamed at his daughter, "Nice of you to bless us with your presence at..." he checked his watch, "11:45!" She had always been this way for as long as he could remember, and despite her cold-shouldering him until she had half a pot of coffee, he wouldn't have it any other way. Tweak grumbled and began pouring an unholy amount of carrot creamer into her coffee.

"My lovely daughter ain't a morning person." Ranger Marsh informed Calico Jack quite needlessly, who only chuckled.

"Alright, I've had my coffee!" Tweak announced, "Now y'all can talk to me."

"That's a relief," Ranger Marsh laughed, "Because I missed my daughter's lovely voice."

"I didn't!" Kwazii shrieked and ran from the room screeching Hamilton songs at the top of his lungs and waving his arms around like mad.

"What's his problem?" Tweak asked confusedly.

"Ya think it had anything to do with the coffee we gave him?" Ranger Marsh inquired thoughtfully, looking toward Calico Jack.

"Nah, matey! It can't be!" The old pirate waved him off as Tweak paled.

"Evacuate the Octopod."