Octo-Oneshots

That's My Line

"Kwazii, I'm hungry." Pinto whined and settled himself on the pirate's lap.

"Hi, Hungry." Said pirate snickered, "I'm Kwazii. Nice to meet ya, matey!" Pinto scowled.

"You can't say that." He frowned adorably as Kwazii smiled down at his little pirate buddy.

"And why is that?" Kwazii asked humorously as Pinto answered matter-of-factly,

"Because that's a dad joke, and you're not a dad."

"Who says?" Kwazii teased, tickling Pinto lightly.

"Tweak says you're so ugly no lady would ever willingly go within 100 feet of you." Pinto told him cheekily as Kwazii pretended to pout.

"WHY DID YE LISTEN TO TWEAK, MATEY?!" He screeched as he began to tickle Pinto even harder, making his little pirate buddy giggle.

"Because Jane does." Pinto responded, shrugging his little shoulders slightly. Kwazii fumed, of course. That's how Pinto seemed to hear every single thing Tweak's ever said about him.

"Do you believe everything Jane tells you, matey?" Kwazii poked him in the stomach.

"Not really." Pinto admitted, "She says she'd never kiss me even if I gave her a trillion dollars." Kwazii roared with laughter.

"Me hearty, I think that one might be true." He attempted to say in the most serious tone he could muster, "But hey, plenty of fish in the sea, aren't there?"

"I dunno." Pinto sighed as the Captain entered the room.

"What are you two doing this fine morning?" Captain Barnacles asked good-naturedly.

"Kwazii's trying to teach me how to get a girl to kiss me!" Pinto exclaimed happily as Kwazii's visible eye widened in horror.

"Captain-!" He began but was silenced by a single white paw placed in front of his face as he turned towards Pinto.

"Sweetest, I believe it's best to present a girl with flowers to get her interested first. Might I suggest tulips?" Kwazii and Pinto stared at the Captain blankly as his face cracked into a huge grin.

"Get it? Two-lips?" Both of his surrogate sons groaned.

"Captain..."