Devoun: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it's cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.
Poke: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.
Devoun: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?
Thinknoodles: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?
Jandel: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?
Devoun: Neither.
Devoun: Because it's twelve.
Megan: All the sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.
Poke: What if people had food names and food had people names?
Kaden: Hey, spaghetti, we're having Poke for dinner.
Megan: What is wrong with you people?
Devoun: Shut up, chocolate.
Dexter: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE!
Temprist: *Climbing* THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!
Jackeryz: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."
Thinknoodles: I saw you.
Jackeryz: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Minitoon in a turkey costume.
Ant: *lying down and crying*
Seedeng: There, there. Why don't you take some time off to not be around me while you're like this?
Seedeng: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??
Kreek: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔
Devoun: Why were you microwaving a lemon???
Kreek: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.
Tanqr: Did you burn an orange too? How???
Kreek: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔
Megan: Hey, what are you reading?
Minitoon: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself.
Megan: Impressive! I must have it for myself!
Devoun: So it's just a Notebook?
Minitoon: It's just a Notebook.
Tanqr: But what about Sketch?
Kreek: Don't worry about them.
Kreek: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.
Dani: And what do I get out of this?
Russo: I will give you a dollar.
Dani: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!
Russo: How bout two dollars?
Dani: You got yourself a deal.
Briana: Ashley, what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight?
Ashley: Raise the dead.
Briana: And what did you do?
Ashley: Raise the dead.
Leah: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house.
Minitoon: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?
Megan: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.
Albert: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.
Devoun: Is the pink panther a lion?
Jake: Say that again but slower.
Devoun: I don't get it.
Jake: He's a PANTHER.
Devoun: Is that a type of lion?
Jake: No, it's a fucking panther.
Devoun: *googles panther* They aren't pink?
Jake: AND LIONS ARE?!
Kaden: Something's off.
Chizeled: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Kaden: No, but that's funny.
Jandel: You spent all our money on THIS??
Peetah, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.
Tanqr: Is this a good idea?
Tanqr: Probably not.
Tanqr: Do I care?
Tanqr: No.
Lego: There. How do I look?
Russo: Like a cheap French harlot.
Lego: French?!
Sketch: So what, now I'm just supposed to do everything that Tanqr does? What if they jump off a cliff?
Preston: If Tanqr were to jump off a cliff, they would have done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Tanqr jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Sketch: You jump off a cliff.
Preston: Gladly, provided Tanqr did first.
Chizeled: We call that a traumatic experience.
Chizeled, turning to Dani: Not a "bruh moment".
Chizeled, turning to Timmeh: Not "sadge".
Chizeled, turning to Temprist: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
Ashley: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.
Minitoon: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?
Briana: Temprist, you need to react when people cry!
Temprist: I did. I rolled my eyes.
Kaden: ...My man Tanqr just killed a goldfish.
Tanqr: *licking their lips* Yup. Delicious.
Jackeryz: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Tanqr: How can you still say that?
Jackeryz: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.
Leah: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from a all you can eat pizza buffet.
Jelly: Why'd you get banned?
Leah: Touched the rat.
Jelly: ... What rat?
Leah: Chunky Cheese.
Seedeng: "I lost a bet."
Seedeng: The second-most ominous phrase in existence.
Preston: What's the first?
Seedeng: "Let's make a bet."
Denis: You use emoji's like a straight person.
Jandel: That's literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.
Lego: Some of us are still 'it' from a childhood game of tag.
Temprist: way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.
Bandi: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can't take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth.
Sabrina: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like 'look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I'm losing.'
Lego: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.
Sabrina, tearing up the room: Where are they?
Sabrina, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?
Sabrina: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.
Sanna: Made you all playlists!
Sanna: Briana, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.
Sanna: Denis, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.
Sanna: And Russo has the ABBA Gold album.
*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.*
Sanna: *Minding their own business, looking for tortilla chips.*
Sanna: *Finds tortilla chips.*
Briana, to Lego: See, they know what they're here for. They know what they're doing. Be more like them. Make a decision, Lego!
Dani: I am 39 cheetos tall.
Hyper: Why... are you measuring your height in cheetos?
Dani: Because we're out of doritos.
Chizeled: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You're supposed to say I have 'the right to remain silent'"! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
Thinknoodles: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.
Albert, about Temprist: I could fix them, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with them is way funnier.
Jake: That's what any god probably thinks about me.
Hyper: You're giving me a sticker?
Ashley: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying "me-wow!"
Hyper: I'm not a preschooler.
Ashley: Fine, I'll take it back-
Hyper: I earned this, back off!
