Ant: *Takes a sip of milk and gags*
Ant: Oh my god, is this expired?
Ant: *Takes another sip of milk*
Ant: Someone's trying to break in. Call the cops!
Albert: *loads shotgun* I got this.
Ant: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean-
Leah: *nudges Briana at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Briana? Wake up, Briana! Listen! They're sexless!
Briana: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.
Poke: You're pathetic!
Woozlo: You're pathetic-er!
Sketch: You're both losers.
Chase: I tried to write 'I'm a functional adult' but my phone changed it to 'fictional adult' and i feel like that's more accurate.
Koneko: You're violent.
Chloegames: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.
Russo: I'm a reverse necromancer.
Hyper: Isn't that just killing people?
Russo: Ah, technically.
Kreek: *Answers phone.* Hello?
Jelly: It's Jelly.
Kreek: What did they do this time?
Jelly: No, it's me, Kreek. It's actually me.
Kreek: What did you do this time?
Nightfoxx, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.
Devoun: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."
Calixo: I hope no one lowkey hates me.
Calixo: Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being.
Calixo: Go big or go home.
Dexter: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.
Lego: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.
Megan: What do you call disobeying the law?
The Squad: A hobby.
Megan: *crosses their arms*
The Squad: That we do not engage in.
Tanqr: I'm yet to properly begin my history notes BUT!!!! I got 100% on a quiz about european countries so who's the REAL winner here.
Bandi: And I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse.
Sketch, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.
Dj: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?
Timmeh: You want to know why people are so afraid of clowns? Well you know what people say about how their feet aren't the only thing that's big? And how people who drive really big cars have small dicks? Well clowns are out there with their big feet and tiny cars...
Preston: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.
Preston: It's me.
Jelly: Sometimes, I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
Tanqr: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.
Ominous: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!
Russo: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.
Megan: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it's so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.
Keiyso: I have no respect for Santa. Don't sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.
Nightfoxx: The risk I took was calculated but, man, am I bad at math.
Minitoon: I warned you.
Minitoon: I'm perfect.
Albert: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.
Denko: I'm the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.
Sketch: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.
Albert: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that god is real.
Kreek: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.
Bandi: So, according to my university, it is, quote, "my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department."
Bandi: Now, if you're a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.
Bandi: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!
Preston: Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."
Lego: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?
Ashley: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.
Timmeh: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.
Sketch: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
Sketch: I need my socks.
Lego: I'm hot, I'm tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.
Leah: STOP!
*Everyone stops*
Leah: wAiT a MiNuTe-
Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Jelly*
Jelly: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.
Jelly: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.
Peetah: I just wanted to say that over the years, I have come to regard you as... people I met.
Sketch: You can't wake up if you never got to sleep.
