Dani: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like-
Dani, to Ant: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual.
Poke, to Chizeled: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire.
Seedeng: There are two types of people.
Ant: Life is like Dexter. It's short.
Jandel: Ok, first of all, what the fuck?
Jackeryz: Pick a card, any card.
Timmeh: Fine.
Jackeryz: Wait, that's my credit card!
Timmeh: You said any card.
Jandel: Anyone d-
Jake: Depressed?
Kreek: Drained?
Timmeh: Dumb?
Peetah: Disliked?
Jandel: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...
Devoun: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.
Denis: Why?
Devoun, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.
Temprist: Get in, loser, we're committing vehicular manslaughter!
Dani: What am I supposed to do?
Koneko: If I were you? I'd try and make peace with whatever deity, pantheon, or Divine Other you believe in.
Dani: I'm an atheist.
Koneko: Then just get ready to die I guess.
*at a zoo*
Lego: What are they in for?
Hyper: Lego, this isn't prison.
Lego: So they can leave?
Hyper: No, but-
Lego, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.
Jandel: You... you said I could trust you!!
Jandel: You said you were a GAMER!!!
Sketch: Jandel... I only play mobile games.
Jandel: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Dj: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.
Jandel: All good bro, any time.
Dj: Fuck you.
Thinknoodles: What does the doggy say? Bow wow.
Minitoon: What does the kitty say? Meow meow.
Dexter: What does the moo cow say? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Jake: I love murder mysteries!
Denis, trying to impress them: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.
Kreek, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?
Minitoon: *Sends a picture of of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside*
Albert: *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside*
Coeptus: *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple*
Kreek: I hate all of you.
Lego: Hi, I'm Denis's emergency contact.
Counter Woman: You're here to pick them up?
Lego: I'm here to remove myself as their emergency contact.
Redninja, when Seedeng walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza.
Redninja: *accidentally smacks Jackeryz in the face with the baking sheet*
Dj: Damn, the power went out.
Peetah: Don't worry, I got this.
Peetah: *stomps foot*
Dj: What-?
Peetah: *Sketchers light up*
*In a horror movie situation*
Dani: I've got no service in my phone here.
Hyper: Shoot, my battery just died.
Chase: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer.
Russo: Guys, my phone is a book.
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Preston: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Ashley: ...I did. I broke it.
Preston: No. No you didn't. Hyper?
Hyper: Don't look at me. Look at Chase.
Chase: What?! I didn't break it.
Hyper: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Chase: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Hyper: Suspicious.
Chase: No, it's not!
Megan: If it matters, probably not, but Briana was the last one to use it.
Briana: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Megan: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Briana: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Megan!
Ashley: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Preston.
Preston: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Megan: Preston... Hyper's been awfully quiet.
Hyper: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Preston, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Preston: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Preston:
Preston: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
