Woozlo: You have Crayons?
Peetah: Yes, I have-
Woozlo: You're- how old are you?
Peetah: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.
Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.
Poke: I choose to waive that right!
Poke: *screaming*
Peetah: People always shoot down my ideas and I'm sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone's always shouting "what the fuck? that's illegal!" and "you can't do that!". Like, c'mon, let me talk!
Hyper: What are you doing here?
Poke: I could ask you the same question.
Hyper: I live here. This is my house.
Poke: I should probably ask you a different question.
Ashley: Woozlo, what are you doing tomorrow?
Woozlo: Having my day ruined by whatever you're about to ask me to do.
Hyper: Why does Woozlo always do the laundry so loudly?
Peetah: So everyone knows that no one helps them out in the house.
Woozlo, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*
Hyper: How did none of you hear what I just said?!
Ashley: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Peetah: I got distracted halfway through.
Devoun: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
Hyper: Which one? I have six.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
Hyper: Which one? I have six.
Peetah, distantly: HEY!!!
Devoun: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!
Peetah: Are pigeons drones?
Hyper: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.
Peetah: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!
Hyper: *Crying* Please let me sleep...
*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*
Poke: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Woozlo: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.
Ashley: if you want information it is
Peetah: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?
Woozlo: *casually taking four stairs at a time*
Poke, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-
Woozlo: Made you all playlists!
Woozlo: Ashley, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.
Woozlo: Hyper, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.
Woozlo: And Peetah has the ABBA Gold album.
Devoun: I am an expert at identifying birds.
Woozlo: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?
Devoun: Yeah, they're all birds.
Ashley: We have to plan, we have to figure something out.
Hyper: Ashley, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.
Woozlo: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also arson.
Woozlo: I'll offer you some friendly advice-
Devoun: I don't want your advice.
Woozlo: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.
Devoun: *clicks pen*
Poke: *clicks pen in response*
Peetah: Stop that.
Devoun: Stop what?
Peetah: You're talking about me in Morse code!
Devoun: Yes, that's what we doing. In our very limited time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. Congrats, you figured us out!
*later*
Poke, to Ashley: That's actually exactly what we were doing.
Hyper, watching Peetah do something stupid: Poke, you're officially only the second highest risk here.
Poke: Hell yeah! I'm gonna-
Hyper: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.
Ashley: I know we're not exactly friends, but-
Woozlo: What do you want?
Ashley: I've been stuck with Hyper for 2 weeks and they've been drinking all the soy sauce.
Ashley: Help.
Woozlo: Oh god, they texted you 'hi.'' punctuation only means one thing, Poke. They're mad at you.
Poke: No, it's Peetah. They're just being gramatically correct!
*meanwhile*
Peetah: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.
Hyper: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.
Peetah: I stand by my choice.
Hyper: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Poke: Literally or figuratively?
Hyper: I have to specify?
Woozlo: Regular soda is too sweet!
Hyper: Diet soda has a weird after taste!
Woozlo: No! Ugh, oh my god. Diet soda is THE BEST! It doesn't have sugar! It's SPICY!
Hyper: It has other weird stuff in it! I'll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda!
Woozlo: It's SO SWEET like it's a dessert though! Diet feels more like a drink!
Hyper: I'm going to physically attack you.
Woozlo: Which is better, Ashley?
Ashley: Oh, I usually drink water!
Hyper: Wha- NO!
Woozlo: DISGUSTING!
Poke, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?
Peetah: It means like in hand-to-hand combat.
Poke: Ohhhh-
Woozlo: Both of you get out of this kitchen.
Poke: Thanks for pulling the fire alarm, you saved me from giving an oral report about The Scarlet Web.
Hyper: You were too lazy to read the book?!
Poke: I was too lazy to watch the movie.
