Zaynah ✓

viii

~ Z a y n a h ~

I sat in the bathtub, surrounding myself with the scented water.

My life might be hell right now, but at least I could smell clean. As if that's enough...

Letting myself wander away with the thoughts, I didn't even notice how long had passed.

Sighing sadly, I bathed quickly and grabbed the peach colored night gown I had brought here. The closet had undergarments in it as well.

The truth that he would go to this extent made my skin crawl with fear and disgust.

I couldn't let him break me.

Expecting the worst, I got out of the bathroom.

"Ha, you're here!" His cheery tone just angered me.

He could make me hate my life and still be cheerful about it.

I just awkwardly stood there, not knowing what to do.

I can't just go and sit by him on the bed.

"What are you waiting for?" He tapped on the bed, "Come here."

I froze momentarily before dragging my feet to his bed.

On the top of the bed, a tray was kept with different kinds of food served.

I just sat at the edge of the bed between the tray and him.

"Are you hungry?" He asked me, sounding concerned, and if I didn't know him better, I would've thought he was a human.

But monsters can't be human.

I was starving. I don't even remember the last meal I had and when I did. I kept quiet. I wasn't playing his games.

He smirked, "Feed me."

What?

He looked dead serious.

I hesitantly grabbed a spoon and filled it with something that looked like chicken soup and brought it to his mouth.

He never once lifted his gaze off me while drinking the soup. I had to keep repeating this until the bowl was finished.

"Wipe my mouth," he said calmly as if I had been his personal mouth wiper for the past years.

That would be so humiliating for a queen, then again, the things he did to me made me question my royal pride anymore.

I took the cloth from the tray.

"Uh huh, not with that." He shook his head like an insistent brat.

I gulped, "Then what?"

He wiggled his fingers in the air, "Your beautiful hands, Snowflake."

I almost gagged at his blunt response.

How was I supposed to?

"Do it," He leaned forward.

His sick commands never seemed to finish.

I closed my eyes for a moment to prepare myself to sell another shred of my dignity.

I brought my hand to his mouth and gently wiped the corners of his mouth.

"Do it properly, or do you want me to show you how?" He started it again.

His sick games.

I tried my best to do it 'properly' as I knew, and I withdrew my hand quickly.

The way he smiled afterward proved that I had done it right.

It just made me more miserable.

"Now I'll feed you," He announced, tearing some bacon with his hands.

He was avoiding the knife intentionally.

I was happy to get some food, but I surely didn't want to be fed and especially not by him.

"Say aah," He mimicked as if feeding a kid.

I just closed my eyes and imagined that my mother was feeding me. The bacon melted in my tongue, and I savored every bit of it.

I didn't show it on my face that I was enjoying the food. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of that.

"Do you like it?" He asked eagerly.

I just nodded.

"Then why didn't you moan?"

His absurd question made me open my eyes in an instant and go frozen.

"What?" I asked to confirm that I wasn't daydreaming.

"Moan," His face was stern.

Was this human for real?

Or was he even a human?

"I said, moan."

"I-I don't know." My voice cracked.

"If I show you, then you'll regret it."

I didn't want to know what he meant by that.

I shook my head vigorously, "I'll do it."

I was defeated in every aspect.

The longer I stayed with him, the more self-respect I was losing.

I acted how I'd respond when the food was too tasty.

"Mmmh," I nervously let out a low moan.

"Yeah, keep it coming," He looked enthusiastic now.

"Then give me food," For a moment, I couldn't believe I said that. I guess I was really hungry.

He chuckled and kept feeding me while I did, what I didn't want to.

I just closed my eyes to save me from the shame.

He stopped feeding me after the bacon was finished, and I could finally stop the act.

I opened my eyes and found that his eyes were still closed.

"Desmond?" I called out to him in confusion.

He opened his eyes with a wide smile, "I didn't know that my name was so beautiful until I heard it in your voice."

Was that supposed to flatter me?

While my parents were rotting in his dungeon?

Absolutely not flattering.

"I can't get enough of it, Snowflake." His gaze unwavering for even a second, "I'm afraid I'm getting more and more greedy for it. For you."

What did they mix in his food?

Definitely not his mental illness medicine, for sure. Because he's still completely crazy and kicking.

"Call me again." His tone almost pleading.

At this point, I just want to get it over with.

"Desmond," I added a forced smile to it, "The food was delicious, Desmond. I hope you won't bother feeding me anymore, Desmond."

He went on a full fitted laughter.

Did he find it amusing?

Playing my life was that fun?

"I just like you more and more, Snowflake." He wiped a lone laugh tear from his eye, "I'm glad I found you."

And I'm depressed, I did.

"Stay with me forever?" He asked me with a childlike innocence.

But I knew everything was a façade.

I nodded, obviously lying.

He tangled his pinky finger with mine, "Promise?"

Yep, definitely something in the soup.

"Promise." I lied smoothly.

And the best part?

I was lying, and he knew it better than me.