Zaynah ✓

xli

~ Z a y n a h ~

It had been two weeks since Desmond left and honestly, I cherished each and every moment of it.

Once again I felt like I was in control. All the servants and guards held great respect for me which made me feel like a queen again.

But in the end, nothing was mine here.

All I could do was hold a sense of false entitlement for the things that were never mine.

Still, I preferred to relish in this temporary state of happiness.

I was lost in my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door.

I rose from the chair and walked towards the door, opening it.

The security was immaculate so I didn't have to worry about being attacked in the king's room out of all places.

On opening the door, I found Laevinn standing in front of me with a worried expression.

"What happened?" My face reflected his expression.

He looked uncomfortable and glanced at the guards. I nodded at him, "It's okay, you can come in."

He closed the door behind us.

This looked so wrong and I prayed that the guards wouldn't inform Desmond about our encounter in his room.

"What's it, Laevinn?"

"Desmond was attacked."

My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat.

"D-Did he die?"

"No."

I closed my eyes and knelt on the floor in exasperation.

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why can't he just die?" I struggled to stay composed.

For a moment, I dreamt of a life that was once mine.

I heard him sigh, "Don't lose it now."

He was right. I was becoming more desperate and unusual now.

Maybe, tasting some freedom made me more greedy.

"Can you get up now?"

My ears were ringing so badly that I couldn't comprehend what he said so he pulled me back to my feet and made me sit on the bed.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded at him, "How did you know about this?"

"Uh I have my information resources." He poured me a glass of water and forwarded it to me.

I accepted his kind gesture and drank it in one go which made me feel better.

Both the brothers were secretive enough.

"I can't disclose it," He added, "It's for your own safety."

"I understand."

"I feel like he'll return soon," he looked at me with sympathy.

"What makes you think that?"

"Because he was attacked a week ago and by now he must feeling better to travel here."

"A week ago? Then how come you know about it only now?"

"Well, sometimes it takes time to receive information." He answered with embarrassment.

"It's okay, I appreciate your concern anyway."

He smiled, "Are you prepared to meet him?"

"I'm not sure."

When was I ever prepared for whatever goes through his head?

"You know what?" He looked away.

"Hm?"

"Whenever you talk about killing Desmond, I feel some kind of strange emotion taking over me."

"He's your brother after all." I fiddled with my fingers suddenly feeling doubtful of Laevinn.

"Yes," he answered truthfully, "but that doesn't excuse him for what he did to you. He can be a terrible human sometimes but he was never a bad brother to me and maybe that's why I feel..."

"I get it."

He sighed, "I'm sorry if that upset you."

"It's okay, it's only natural that you have a brotherly bond with him."

"I think I should get going," he said.

"What do you think of the guards? Will they tell on us?"

His eyes widened when the realization dawned upon him, "I-I never thought of it."

I chuckled, "It was better if you had a lover, then the palace workers won't be suspicious of our frequent meetings."

He looked flabbergasted.

"I'm just joking, sorry." I laughed.

My laugh sounded foreign to my own ears.

His face broke into a smile as well, "What makes you think that I have no lover?"

"You do? I apologize that I assumed- "

"It's okay, Zaynah. We're friends so don't be so formal with me."

I nodded, "I never saw you with anyone that's why I thought..."

"To be honest, she doesn't know that I love her."

"What? How?"

"It's so complicated," he rubbed his forehead.

"She doesn't love you then?"

"No, I guess."

I frowned, "That's sad. Why don't you confess then?"

"I just can't. It will ruin everything."

"Is she from your rival kingdom?"

"You can say that."

I stood up and faced him, "I hope you tell her one day. Who knows she might like you back."

He never blinked when I held eye contact, "I don't think I can ever do that."

"And why is that?"

"Because I'll lose her the moment I confess my feelings."

I was puzzled by his vague words.

"Because we are never meant to be together."