Duty of Love

Chapter 17

Meera's POV

I couldn't believe what I heard yesterday. When I think, this is it, I am bombarded with new shocks. Yes shocks... because what Deva revealed is nothing less than one.

I don't know what I should feel right now, should I feel happy that my husband was jealous of his own brother or should I be sad that he didn't believe me to love him.

" Adi, what happened to you? You look miserable." I heard Mom asking Deva

Deva and me shared an eyelock
" Nothing , Mom. Yesterday I got drenched in rain so having slight fever" Deva said while looking at me.

" Adi, you are a father to two four year olds but still behaving so irresponsibly." Mom started scolding Deva.

" Papa... you played in rain and did not call us" Devu asked. Then she turned to me and asked, " Mamma, at least you could have called us . I know Papa does not like to play alone , so if I and Anshu were not there then you must have played with him, right..."

Before I could get over the shock , my Anshu pitched in

" Oh ,that's why you were sneezing earlier. You were also playing in the rain , Mamma. Very bad , Mamma. You scold us when we play in rain and then you do the same with Papa"

For a moment everyone was speechless. Deva was the most embarrassed. I have never seen him so uncomfortable and red like a tomato. After recovering from the initial shock, all others started giving us sly smiles. I looked at Deva who was also looking at me slightly embarrassed. Only we know what is the reality. Not giving them any food for thought, I escaped to the kitchen.

I was in deep thoughts when Mom came into the kitchen. I could see she was really uncomfortable.

" Mom, do you need anything?"

" Meera, don't get me wrong but Adi likes having hot vegetable soup when he is not feeling well . Can you make it for him? " she asked , " I would have made myself but I have to go for the doctor's appointment for your Dad" she explained hurriedly

" I know , Mom and I will make it. Don't worry" I comforted . She smiled at me gratefully and left. I could see that my words made her happy. I too was glad at least someone is happy, I thought sarcastically.

Deva looked at me as I entered the room. His eyes were following my every movement. I gave him his soup and was leaving when he asked

" Meera, please can we talk? "

I just sat on the bed quietly

" Are you ok? " I looked at him incredulously

" I meant physically, yesterday you also got drenched and Anshu was saying you were sneezing " Deva explained

" I am fine now..." I replied back blankly then added, " PHYSICALLY "

Deva was staring at me like he was studying me and it was making me nervous.

" If you don't want to talk..." saying I got up

" I am sorry for all the pain I had knowingly and unknowingly given you. I also know a mere sorry is not enough to make up for the lost years but its all that I have. I can promise you one thing, from today I will dedicate my life to make you happy. I can't give back your 8 years but I can give you rest of my life. I can't take away the pain you endured but I can sure be your shield from now on. I can't take away the loneliness you felt but I promise to never leave you alone. For all the " I can'ts", I promise a lifetime of " I will's" from this moment" his voice was cracking by the end.

I could see the pain and guilt in his eyes . I wanted to go to him, console him and hug him but this time my shattered heart could only close my eyes to his pain.

It will be wrong to say that what Deva said today didn't affect me. If it was any day before yesterday, I would have been the happiest. But yesterday changed me in ways that even I am not able to understand. I always hoped to hear these words from my Deva. It is ironic that now these same words are causing me deep agony. Finally my heart and mind had come to a truce and both are screaming only one thing ,to not easily forgive him.

He knew and he hurt me
He knew and he didn't believe me
He knew and he STAYED AWAY and that's one think I am not able to forgive.