Duty of Love

Chapter 26

Adidev's POV

I felt her wiping away my tears and all I could do was hold onto her hands tightly.

" Will it ever be possible  for you to forgive me?" I painfully asked the question  whose answer I am afraid  to hear

She laid her head on my shoulder and was silent for a few minutes. Each minute felt like a lifetime.

" I don't know" she answered honestly  and broke me to pieces

I know I don't have the right to expect anything from her but there is no tax to hope, right? I thought sarcastically.

" There are so many beautiful memories for me in this room " I heard her reminiscing out loudly

" For each of those memories a shadow of dark cloud also followed. I entered this room as a hopeful and happy bride but you broke my dreams the very next day. Still, I never let it break my spirit. I tried , really tried to win over everyone and each time I failed miserably. " her voice was shaky as she recollected the painful moments of her life.

" I became part of your family but still was not part of one, Why? I didn't know. In my naivety,  I didn't think to question what was happening.  But now I know but does that change what happened to me. "

She got up and went near the dresser  unsteadily. I was following  her each movement with my eyes

" Here, you told me not to expect anything from you"

She then moved towards the cupboards

" I was arranging  your things when you told me I don't need to touch your things, you are capable to take care of youself"

She sat on the bed

" You will always get the respect of my wife and I will do all my duties towards you, you said that while sitting on this bed, the night we found we are pregnant. Thats it . NO LOVE... or anything else"

Her each statement was making it difficult  for me to breathe, with every passing second

Suddenly, she moved towards the door.

After making sure that no family members  were outside, I took her out.

I could see even though she was taking support while walking, she has a determined  stride .

Once reaching the living room, she turned to look at me.

" You all will sit here, talk , laugh and have tea while I will be standing there" she pointed to a pillar further away.

I could only hung my head in shame on our act.

" Here you have your food but never once I was invited to join" I saw her standing in the dining room looking straight into my eyes with pain , hurt and anger.

" I am trying Deva, I am trying. At least for my kids, I am trying my level best. I want to give them a family that I didn't  have. But I am not able to  forget. Please make me forget , Deva. MAKE ME FORGET THIS PAIN" screaming out the last sentence she fell down and began to sob uncontrollably.

All I could do at that moment was hold her and let her tears burn me. We sat like that for a long time.

Sensing no response after a while , I looked down to see that she had fallen asleep. The drink and then the emotional outburst  had taken a toll on her. I lifted her in my arms and carried her to our room.

She held my hand between hers and curled up towards me as I laid her on the bed. I stroked her hair lovingly and kissed her forehead then laid down beside her. As she further curled towards me, I pulled her onto me such that her head was resting on my chest. The past few hours were a real eye opener. I could still see her eyes full of hurt and her cry to make her forget. I was till now waiting for redemption but   it may be too late.

I looked at Meera whose innocence was sparkling on her face.

"One day, you may forgive me but I will never be able to forgive myself....
One day, you may be able to forget the pain but I will never forget today...
One day, you may get over the hurt but I will never get over this truth....
The truth that I destroyed your life, OUR life with my own hands......" saying this I broke down completely while holding her tightly in my arms.

" But I promise you one thing Meera, that I will do everything  in my power to grant you the one thing you asked of me in all these years. I will try till my last breath to make you forget the pain and I know exactly what I should do "

I have made a decision , my first step to repentance.