Duty of Love

Chapter 36

Adidev's POV

I was staring at the night sky. My mind was in a turmoil

" Do you really think it will be easy for Meera to forget everything?"

" I know it is not easy. I have even accepted in some part of my mind that I will never be forgiven. What we have done is not pardonable. Whatever may be the outcome, I will always carry this regret . "

" You are regretting now but it doesn't change what she went through"

" Don't I know that but still a corner of my heart hopes for a happily ever after"

" Why did you wait all these years to clear up the misunderstandings?"

" That is the million dollar question, isn't it. Why? .......First I believed her to be in the wrong. I wanted to punish her for what she did to my family but then... slowly... she started making place in my heart. I got scared.... I became a coward then. I didn't want her to say that I am just a compromise , so I never asked...."

" And she lost 8 years of her life"

".....and she lost 8 years of her life" I repeated as tears began flowing uncontrollably as my heart pinched once again thinking about her suffering

" What do you expect from these sessions, Mr. Tripati?"

" I just want to take away her pain"

" You had a good start for that"

I looked at her puzzled

" You took her away from the place which reminds her of her pain, you are trying to give her wings. These are good efforts . Better late than never"

" This time my priority is Meera. I didn't just come here to solve my marital woes, I want to make it right for her . This time her needs should be put first. "

" Good to hear that we are on the same page. I have asked Meera to think through her decision. Once she is clear, we will decide how to move forward "

The conversation with the counselor was roaming through my head. I wanted Meera to decide for herself but at the same time I am scared out of my wits thinking what she will decide. I know she wants the marriage but I am also aware that our kids factor majorly in her decision.

I jerked around on sensing a hand on my shoulder. Meera was standing with a cup of coffee in her hand. It has sort of become our ritual to have a coffee on the balcony.

" Is there any problem?" She asked as she passed me the coffee

" No, I was thinking about our sessions"

Meera became tensed suddenly

" What happened, Meera? Are you not...."

" Nothing like that but she has really confused me. In one hour , she has turned my whole world upside down"

Then she looked at me and gave me the most sweetest smile possible.

I was not able to control myself. Already my emotions were running hay wire and now this sweet smile of hers making me more aware of how near she is but still so far away.

I kept my cup of coffee down and pulled her towards me. For a second, she was startled then I felt her relaxing. This gave me the courage to speak my heart out

" I don't know what will happen at the end of all this. Hope we can survive . Hope that you will forgive us. Hope that I will never loose you....."

I was looking deeply into her eyes with all the love in my heart .

I tenderly touched her cheeks. She closed her eyes and shivered. I loved the effect I was having on her but I was also not immune to her closeness. We were inadvertently coming closer and closer such that we could feel each other's breathe on our faces. I traced her face with my fingers while she still kept her eyes closed.

" Open your eyes , Meera" I whispered

Slowly she opened her eyes. For the first time in our lives, our eyes held only passion and love for each other. I slowly dipped my head towards her.

" Mamma...."

Hearing Anshu's scream , we jerked apart. We were both embarrassed by what nearly took place.

I was ashamed of myself. How could I let my control slip especially in our situation. I should have thought about Meera. What will she be thinking about me. These were all the questions roaming in my mind when the kids dashed towards us.

" Mamma... Papa .. What are you doing?" Anshu asked

" You both didn't sleep?" I instead questioned them

" Tomorrow is holiday . So we thought we will play with you both for a little while." Anshu replied

Seeing me frown, Devu used her ultimate method

" Please Papa....Please" directing her puppy dog eyes at me

I slumped my shoulder in defeat while my kids screamed their heart out.

" Mamma ... Are you okay? "

This question from Anshu made me look at Meera

Meera also stared at me for a moment before turning her attention to the kids.

" Mamma has to make a decision and she is confused, thats all" Meera replied with a smile but my heart skipped a beat.

"Lets play a game..." Devu said

" What game...." I asked to divert my mind

" Hmmmm.... one person must close their eyes . The rest will ask him or her questions and they will have to reply with the first thing that comes to mind" Anshu explained the game

I was asked to go first. Devu started with her round of questioning. To be honest, we were all really enjoying the game until,

"How much do you love Mamma? " Anshus asked me which brought everything to a standstill but the answer was as clear as a day for me.

" As much as there are stars in the sky" I replied while looking at Meera.

Meera was stunned and looked at me with wide eyes, her pretty round eyes.

Immediately, she changed the topic and the game continued until it was Meera's turn.

This time it was Devu who unknowingly brought the game to a halt.

" What is your most precious thing, Mamma?"

For a moment Meera didn't answer then she opened her eyes and her eyes were glistening with tears. She tightly hugged the kids. I could see determination on her face.
When she looked at me over the kids head, I realized that finally she made her decision and my heart started beating fast with fear.