Duty of Love

Chapter 32

Adidev's POV

" What " I barked at the person standing in front of me

Saahil just raised his eyebrows and grinned

I released an exasperated sigh, I know that he will never leave me alone until I explain the matter.

" What happened to you? " he asked

" I don't know "

" Adi..." he warned

" I really don't know" I shouted

I could see Saahil was surprised as I don't usually loose my temper.

" What happened YESTERDAY? " he zeroed into the crux of the matter

" Samay made Meera laugh and I didn't like it" I muttered childishly

"What ....and Who is this Samay?" Saahil was perplexed

I explained to him in detail what happened yesterday.

" I don't know why I got so angry seeing him with Meera. I really felt like punching him and that is scaring me. You know me, I am not a violent person, so why am I behaving like this." I explained my dilemma

There was a pin drop silence , then Saahil began laughing so loudly that he actually fell from his chair .

I was gritting my teeth seeing him. He was wiping his eyes by the time he was able to control his laughter.

He looked at me with a smirk and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I knew that he was controlling himself from breaking out into another fits of laughter

" Over or do you want to make more fun of me. I should not have said anything to you" I said grumpily

"Sorry... sorry.... I didn't mean to laugh at you but I couldn't resist. The great controlled, calm Adidev having murderous thoughts ..." Saahil started giggling again

" Fine, laugh all you want but get out" I got angry

" Adi, don't you realize what is happening?" Saahil asked me after becoming serious

I looked at him with confusion

" You are simply JEALOUS " Saahil smiled victoriously

" What !!! Are you mad...Jealous... me...no chance " I glared at him but my words were in contradiction to what my heart was feeling.

Smiling pleasantly, Saahil sat in front of me and stared into my eyes

" Dont even start lying to me. I know you better that anyone"

I couldn't look at him .

" Why would I be jealous?" I finally asked

" Because you are in love with her"

" I do..n't .." I stuttered," I mean I ca..re for.. her , I resp..ect her but love.... no...no... you are mistaken" I was vehemently denying even the possibility of that happening. Don't know why.

" Fine... you don't love her"

I was agitatedly moving around by then and looked up puzzled by his sudden change

" Then why haven't you fallen in love with anyone else. It is not like that you didn't have the chance in the past 8 years" he continued

" I am married " I said in way of an explanation

" Love is not something  we plan . It is like it says We fall in love. The truth is you have not fallen in love with anyone else because you were already in love with your WIFE. "

We both stared at each other in utter silence over his statement. I was lost for words.

I stumbled down onto the chair as my eyes welled up.

" Adi, there were never anyone else in your life because you had fallen for her long back but it is a different  matter that YOU have NOT ALLOWED yourself to accept the same" Saahil said while keeping a consoling hand on my shoulder

Tears started flowing down my cheeks as I finally faced the truth that I have been running away all my life.

"I ... I.." I was not able to get a single word out of my mouth. I just hugged Saahil as my life depends on it and wept inconsolably.

" I ruined our lives , Saahil. If I have just accepted the fact that I have fallen for her, then our lives would have been different,  better. I was a coward . My fear to face the truth have destroyed  us." trying to gulp down the urge to break down again

" Everything is not over, Adi. Sometimes it takes time for us to recognize the love. You took time. Yes, it was not fair to Meera Bhabhi but now don't lose any more time to make it right"

" I don't know what to do, Saahil. I am trying but I feel what I am doing is not enough, never enough. I sometimes feel lost. I want to make her forget her pain but stuck in a maze on how to go about it" I said to him dejectedly

" If you don't take it in a wrong way, can I suggest something " Saahil queried

" When did you start taking my permission?" I said sarcastically

Saahil nodded his head in acknowledgement to my statement.

" Why don't you both go for counseling?"

I looked at him in horror, " We are not going to get a divorce?"

" Who told you that only people who want divorce goes for counseling? Look, Adi, you are in a situation where no one can help you now. Directly  or indirectly we all have been responsible  for her pain. To understand and to help you BOTH better, you need a professional.  They are trained for these scenarios and will be more equipped to guide you" Saahil explained

Eventhough I was not fully convinced, I was also not able to reject the idea.

He was right about one thing. We really need someone to guide us to each other. I am at my wit's end on how to make it happen. At present, we are happy and it looks like we will pull through . But there are times we are reminded of the pain and hurt which creates a chasm obliviously.

" You are right" I said smiling tentatively which Saahil replied with a tight hug and an encouraging  smile.

I finally accepted wholeheartedly the biggest truth of my life, I love Meera and I will do anything to set everything  right between us. Maybe, counseling is the next step for us.