Just Friends - Neymar Jr

29

I was in the guest room at Neymar's, seeing as I didn't have my own place. I tossed and turned all night with a few breakdowns in between but we're good. Lol, who am I kidding? I'm wrecked. I just don't understand.

Why? Why wasn't I good enough? Why did he get so angry at me all the time? Why didn't he explain his decision further? Why did I have to be so stubborn and mouthy? Why?

My phone was buzzing constantly but I put it on silent and turned back over. I wondered if he had told Rafaella. I hoped she didn't hate me. Fuck, his family. What was I going to do? Things would never be how they used to be. I knew it was a stupid idea to date him.

I imagined him sleeping peacefully in our- his bed. While I was sat here with tear stained cheeks and picking out every flaw in myself. What happened to the 'I've loved you since 2003' speech? What happened to the 'one day you'll be officially part of our family' with his stupid smirk? What happened to us? What did I do?

I checked my phone, it was 4am. I let out a groan before walking to the en-suite. Water splashed onto my body as I stepped into the scorching shower. I didn't care that my skin turned red with each droplet that landed on me. I didn't care that my throat choked back on sobs as I disguised them with coughing. I didn't care about anything. I felt numb.

Neymar POV:
The sound of a shower turning on bought me back from my trance. I checked the time and saw 4am. I had been staring at my bedroom wall for the past half an hour. Why was she showering now?

I wondered what I would do when we eventually run into each other downstairs. I want us to still be friends but if I act like nothing happened then I'd just seem like a dick. I guess I'm a dick already though.

I felt horrible. I was horrible. I am horrible. My stomach was tied in knots and the pain would pulse whenever I replayed the moment in my head. It had to be done. I didn't have a choice. I didn't deserve her.

After my injury happened, I was constantly feeling sorry for myself. Not wanting to eat or do anything. I don't know if I can go as far to say that I think I entered a state of depression but it was somewhere near.

I was always snapping at everyone. At her. I think that's why she avoided being at home so much. I knew she was trying to help, she did everything to make me happy but nothing was working. That's what makes this whole situation worse. She was trying her hardest to make me happy whilst it turns out another woman was already doing that.

There was nobody to blame but myself. I think I always argued with Amelia and tried to find problems in what she was doing to make myself feel less guilty. It never worked though. She'd be laying on my chest asleep as I looked straight ahead, letting the guilt eat me alive.

Whilst still in Brasil, the team would go out clubbing most nights. I think it was to help them cope with how badly things turned out. Amelia was obviously always invited but she would stay home with me so I wouldn't be alone. A few times I was able to usher her out the door and tell her to have fun but seeing the videos later on just made me feel shit.

She was smiling, properly smiling, as she joked with the team. I can't remember the last time I saw her smile. I was dragging her down, holding her back from being happy and excelling in her life. Everyone seemed to be moving forward whilst I was stuck but I was holding onto her, bringing her with me.

Shit. The perfect word for how everything is. Me, life, everything is shit. Other guys were making her happy. It wasn't fair. I was jealous and for some reason it always seemed like I was the jealous one. I can't remember a time other than the airport when she would get jealous over me. Did she think I couldn't pull bitches? Did she not care?

I was being stupid. Being a dick. I regret it more than I can express. I started messaging a really nice girl. She was pretty, a model. Her name is Bruna Marquezine. It was innocent at first, the type of conversations you'd have with an acquaintance, we weren't even friends. I don't know why I did it. Maybe I wanted Amelia to see a notification from her and just observe her reaction, I honestly don't know.

As time moved forward, our conversations became more and more flirty. I wasn't even trying, just things would be said and it would be too late as I've already clicked the send button. It gets worse.

Amelia would be talking about having days out with Antonella and Shakira but would cancel them because she was worried about me and wanted to stay and look after me. I would encourage her to go out and then twenty minutes later Bruna would be at the house.

She asked me if Amelia and I were still together. I had to say no otherwise she'd think I was some cheating dick for meeting with other girls. I told her we were on a break and trying to find the right time to inform the media about it. She simply nodded and the topic of conversation was changed.

She must've saw Amelia's story last night which I was surprised by because I didn't think she would've followed her. I guess them both being models meant that they might've done work together in the past or something so it wasn't that strange. She sent me a long text as we were about to drive off from Leo's.

"Neymar, I've never been more disappointed in a person than I am with you right now. I didn't think you were like this and I'm horrified that I was part of it. You have two options. One, you break up with her tonight; you still have the possibility of being friends with her afterwards since you were honest about it and maybe she'll take that into consideration. And maybe after a while I might be able to get over this and we can move forward with our own relationship. Or two, you don't break up with her, keep lying and sneaking around and I am forced to be the bearer of bad news and am left to inform her of her boyfriend's cheating ways. You lose her and you lose me. Your choice."

Everything she said was right. I was in the wrong and I'd have to face the consequences sooner or later. I just wished I had more time to work out what I was going to say and how I would do it. It wasn't meant to start with an argument. I knew Amelia must've thought it was her fault and I hoped she wasn't beating herself up about it too much.

Amelia POV:
I sat on the floor of the shower, letting the water wash over me as I hugged my bare knees, rocking myself like a child. I just wanted him to hug me and tell me it was a joke, that he didn't mean it. But I knew that wasn't going to happen so instead I'd wallow in self pity, wondering what was wrong with me and why I wasn't enough.

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lolsies bit depressing

i had this chapter perfect. PERFECT. but stupid wattpad deleted it and i'm still crying about it now. i'm not even joking, i've been writing this chapter for agessss, it had like 6000 words and was proper detailed and dramatic w both of them being depressed. i'm still actually so upset. this chapters only 1300 words cos i cba, u dk how long i spent on the original of this chapter and i'm so pissed off.

but yeah lol rant over, hope u enjoyed if that's possible lmao and don't forget to vote and comment