SHATTERED

twenty-one

alex

my face scrunched up as i slowly woke up. i shifted and turned to bury my head... into someone's stomach.

i froze up. i suddenly noticed the hand that was lazily cupping my head.

i immediately sat up, and i moved away. saylor's brows furrowed as i did, and she stirred. she let out a quiet huff as she brought her legs to her chest and laid her head on the armrest of the couch. she stayed asleep.

no way was i just sleeping with my head in her lap.

hell. no.

i glanced around the, now dark, living room. the tv had turned off since, i'm assuming, the movie went off. i saw that miguel and jessie were asleep as well.

i stood up, and i started to gather my things. the three of them stayed asleep as i did.

i hope that happened after saylor fell asleep. i don't need her saying anything about it to me.

that shit won't happen again.

i'm not— i can't get close with anyone like that; not after her.

fuck. that.

i didn't even glance at saylor again as i left her apartment. i did, however, make sure the door was locked before i left.

i shoved my hands into my pockets as i walked to the elevator. i clicked the button for the lobby. i eventually made my way out of her apartment building. i walked down the sidewalks to make my way towards my own apartment building.

as i walked to my apartment, my mind seemed to race a thousand miles a minute. unwanted thoughts of my past and what just happened filled my brain.

i really slept with my head laying in saylor's lap... what the fuck? i haven't been close like that with someone in years.

when did that even happen? how did that even happen?

it won't happen again. no way in hell.

i refuse to be vulnerable like that with someone again. never again.

i just can't do it. i can't go through that again.

i reached my apartment, and i unlocked the door to walk in. i shut the door, and i hastily ran my hand through hair as my thoughts continued to run rampant.

she has been on my mind too much lately, and i fucking hate it. i just want to forget about her.

i pulled my phone out of my pocket. i scrolled through my contacts, and i clicked on one to open our messages. i sent a text and asked if she was awake. when she responded, i told her to come over, then threw my phone onto the couch.

that'll be a sure-fire way to get my mind off of everything.

i glanced around my apartment. i sighed, and i quickly tidied it up. once i did, i walked over to my couch. i leaned over towards my coffee table as i rolled a blunt. i brought it up to my mouth, lit it, then took a hit.

that'll definitely help too.

by the time i finished the blunt, there was a knock on my door. i got up, and i walked over to it to open it. my eyes trailed over the woman in front of me, and i smirked. she bit her lip as she stared up at me. i wasted no time in welcoming her inside.

•

the next morning, me and the rest of the band are at the practice building. we have that sold out show tonight, so we're starting to get everything in order.