SHATTERED

sixty-seven

alex

FLASHBACK
ALEX: 16 YEARS OLD

"devvy?" my brows furrowed as i opened my window.

it's nearing three in the morning. i had just been woken up to constant taps on my window. when i walked over to it, i couldn't see out of it due to the rain and the time of night. only when i opened it, could i see that it was devon.

she said nothing as she climbed through the window. i didn't get a chance to close it before she grabbed my face, mumbled a quiet "hey," then pressed her lips to mine. she pushed her tongue into my mouth as she pulled me closer.

i grabbed her wrists, and i tried to gently push her away. "you're drunk," i mumbled. i could taste the alcohol on her lips.

"just a little," she agreed. "it's not a big deal."

she tried to press her lips back to mine, but i turned my head to the side. her lips landed on my cheek. she pulled away with a deep sigh, but she still stood close to me.

with her standing right by me, i could smell the alcohol all over her as well. my brows knitted together as i also smelt perfume on her. my jaw clenched at the unfamiliar scent, but i then could only let a sad exhale.

this is the fourth time she's shown up here smelling like somebody else. every time, she's denied that she was actually with someone. she swears that she didn't cheat, and then she makes me feel terrible for even thinking that she did.

"alex, baby... you really think i would cheat on you?" devon asked as her brows knitted together. she had a hurt expression on her face. "why do you keep thinking that?"

"why else would you smell like someone else?" i asked bitterly.

"i've told you, i borrow my friend's jackets, and they'll give me hugs and shit. i can't help that their perfume is strong and that it lingers," she explained with a scoff.

my arms were crossed over my chest as i stared at her with tears in my eyes. i was silent for a few moments. "they're older than me, aren't they?" i asked quietly. my voice cracked as i spoke. "that's why you got with them?"

she stared at me in disbelief. "are you— for the last time, i'm not fucking cheating on you," she threw her hand up. "you make me feel so terrible when you accuse me of that shit. you know i wouldn't do that to you, alex. i love you. i wouldn't do that."

"then why does it seem like you did? i mean, fuck, you even look like you just fucked someone else," i spat loudly as a few tears slipped down my cheeks. at this point, i didn't even care if it was loud enough to wake my parents up.

she grabbed my face. "be quiet before you wake someone up," her eyes narrowed slightly. "look, i didn't cheat. i don't know how else to get that through your head. i just can't believe you think that low of me, to think that i would. you don't even trust me enough to take my word for it."

my face dropped, and i shook my head. "i don't think low of you," i mumbled as i frowned. "i do trust you, i just— fuck, i'm sorry, dev. yeah, you're right. you wouldn't do that."

"of course not," she murmured as she pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"what's the matter, my love?" devon asked as she cupped my cheek and rubbed my cheekbone.

"i'm just tired," i let out a deep sigh. it was only half of the truth; i just didn't want to argue again. she would just deny it and make me feel bad for accusing her again. "it's three in morning, baby."

"yeah," she gave a small nod. "let's get in the bed."

i nodded as well. i closed the window before i followed her over to my bed. she kicked her shoes off before she got into it. once i got in, she pulled me close.

only a few minutes had passed before she pressed her lips to mine. i tiredly kissed back; i assumed she was going to just make out for a bit before going to sleep. i was proven wrong when her hand start to drift down.

i stopped her, and i pulled back. "can we not do that tonight? i'm seriously exhausted, dev," i mumbled. "i don't want to."

"yeah, whatever," she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as she rolled onto her back. she laid there for a few moments until she sat up. "i shouldn't be over here right now anyways. we've both got class in the morning."

i frowned as i watched her get up. she started to put her shoes back on. i swallowed harshly.

i moved closer to her, and i pressed my lips to her's. i grabbed her hand, and i quickly lead it down. she smirked, and she wasted no time in laying me back across my bed.

•

i'm not sure how much later it is when i'm getting up from my bed. "what are you doing?" devon asked.

"i need to shower," i rubbed at my face. i was beyond exhausted at this point.

"alright. hurry up; i need to leave soon," she told me. i gave a small nod as i made my way to my bathroom.

when i got in the shower, i sat under the stream of water, and i cried. i couldn't even pinpoint exactly why i was crying. maybe it was the fact that my girlfriend was probably cheating on me with someone that was actually her age. maybe it was because i just had sex with her when i really didn't want to, and that it's not even the first time a similar situation has happened. maybe it was because i was so exhausted that it was hard to stay awake, or maybe it was all three.

all i know is that i sat there, crying, for a while. i sat there so long, in fact, that the water turned cold, and i had to shower in the cold water. i was shivering still as i wrapped a towel around myself and dried off. tears stained my cheeks as i got dressed.

when i exited the bathroom, i saw that devon was no longer in my room. the window was left open from where she had left. i checked the time, and i sighed.

i slowly made my way to my bed. i was so sore between my legs that it was hard to walk. once i got to my bed, i sunk into my mattress.

i think i could sleep for an eternity and still be exhausted.

i grabbed my phone. i saw that devon had texted. the text read "had to leave to get enough sleep before class and before your parents woke up. i'll try and see you tomorrow night. love you."

i dropped my phone. i didn't even unlock it to reply to her.

hopefully, i can stay home today.

•

a/n alex's flashback chapters are so 💔

thoughts?

any predictions?

i'm going to sleep, but if this gets enough votes and comments, i'll upload chapter 68 when i wake up 🤗

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