SHATTERED

thirty-five

saylor

a few days after the night i got high with alex, it's the day of our seventh show. since that night, things between me and alex have been... different. i can't explain what exactly it is, but it's different.

since then, alex has been acting, for lack of a better word, odd. they almost seem like they try to avoid me, whenever they can. when they are around me, i catch them stealing glances at me.

we've had a few, actual conversations since that night, that didn't involve alex getting irrationally mad about something. they've also been calling me angel, as a way to mock my tattoo that's below where my collarbones meet.

why do i kinda like it when they call me it though? the way they say it is just... i dunno.

since that night we got high, i've kind of seen alex in a different light. i mean, i've seen that they can be nice and caring, if they want to be. they're not a complete asshole. they can have their moments.

last night, after our sixth show, we of course went back to our hotel. alex took a shower first, so i had just sat on my bed and scrolled through my phone as i waited for them to get out.

i laid out across the bed, instead of sitting with my back to the headboard. i continued to scroll through my phone as i waited on alex to get out of the shower.

finally, after almost twenty minutes, the bathroom door opened. i glanced over. alex was standing in the bathroom doorway. they paid me no mind as they used a towel to dry their hair. they were in their usual, nighttime attire; a sports bra and a pair of boxers. they still paid me no mind as they continued to dry their hair, while they walked to their bed.

i, on the other hand, had to look away from them. i dipped my head and tried to turn my attention back to my phone. i could feel my face heat up.

why was that kinda attractive?

you know, it's really not fair that an asshole like them is hot.

ew, i just called alex hot.

"i'd probably wait a bit before getting a shower; the hot water was going in and out," they spoke softly, but they didn't look at me.

"okay. thanks," i gave a small nod.

so now i'm stuck in here with them after having those thoughts?! lovely.

i looked at my phone again. i let out a sigh, and i looked forward. i looked at the tv for a few moments. it didn't take me long to decide that i would watch an episode of dragon ball z before i got into the shower.

once i had it turned on and started playing, alex looked up. after they had dried their hair, they had started to scroll through their phone as well. even though they looked up from their phone, they didn't turn their phone off. instead, they just stole glances at the tv every now and again.

after the episode was over, i got my clothes out of my suitcase, and i went into the bathroom. i set my clothes on the counter before i got a shower. after my shower, i got dressed, brushed my teeth, and dried my hair.

when i walked out of the bathroom, i spotted alex. they were standing their suitcase by the wall, like i do with mine. they looked over towards me with a small smirk played on their lips. "maybe you won't trip on it this time," they teased.

"ha. ha. so funny," i rolled my eyes. "i bruised the shit out of my leg because of that, you know? and all you could care about was going back to sleep!"

"kick me in the shin, so we'll have matching bruises," they gave a fake smile. "a little bit of payback."

i glared up at them. "don't test me."

they stepped closer to me, and they looked down at me. they glanced at their leg, then back to me. "go ahead, angel," they challenged with a slight rasp in their voice.

i swallowed at the pet name, but i continued to glare up at them. i looked down at their leg as well, then back up to them. i sighed as i shook my head. "i'm not kicking you, alex."

their smirk returned. "i knew you couldn't do it," they poked my forehead with their index finger and shoved me back a little bit. they walked past me after they did.

i turned around to say something, but i stopped. they had turned to go to their bed, so i was looking at their side now. i could barely make out what seemed like a puzzled facial expression as they looked down at their hand; the one they poked me with. my brows knitted together as my jaw dropped slightly, but i didn't say anything else.

"i can't believe tonight's show will mark the tour being halfway over," i pouted as i looked across the table at miguel. the two of us were out getting brunch together.

"i know," miggy's eyes widened slightly. "i don't want it to end. i wish we could just keep touring."

"yeah, me too," i agreed. "hey, who knows? maybe we'll have another tour after this one."

"shit, i wish. i hope we do. i love doing these shows, man. not only are they fun, but i just feel so much love at each show, you know? like, everybody is there to see us. it's a surreal feeling, honestly," he explained as he talked with his hands, one of which was holding his egg sandwich.

"exactly. i love just looking out at everybody and seeing their smiles. it's such a unique feeling. i could do shows until i physically couldn't anymore, if i had the choice," i chuckled.

"yeah, i get that. i want to do shows with only you three though; i couldn't see myself doing shows with anybody else," he told me.

i pouted. "aw, miggy. me too though. as much as alex can get on my nerves, i like performing with them. you and jj are great to perform with too, but it helps that i actually get along with you two all the time," i laughed.

"you and alex are something else," he shook his head with a quiet laugh.

"meaning?" i raised a brow.

"your dynamic with each other is strange. one second you hate each other, the next you're fine. i dunno. i do like seeing you two get along though," he said.

i looked down at my lap, and i fidgeted with my thumbs. "yeah, i do too."

•

a/n ayooo

thoughts?

any predictions?

words:
1138