SHATTERED

forty-eight

saylor

the last night of our first tour will definitely be one that i'll remember for a long time.

the show just finished, and we're all in our separate green rooms. i'm sitting on the couch. my index and middle finger were just barely touching my lips. i'm still in shock, disbelief, about what happened just over an hour and a half ago.

just over an hour and a half ago, my back was laid on this same couch as alex hovered above me and kissed my lips, my jaw, my neck; as they held my waist and rubbed it soothingly.

i just can't believe that they actually kissed me. i was in so much shock, in fact, that when they first kissed me, i may have kinda slapped them.

to be fair... they caught me completely off guard. it was so unexpected, and it all happened so fast, that slapping them was just my first reaction.

i feel bad though. i slapped them pretty hard and had left a red mark on their cheek. luckily, it was gone by the time we left my green room to go perform.

i can't even begin to explain the kiss... well, it was less of a kiss and more of a make out session, but i digress. their lips were surprisingly soft. there was such a need behind them; a need to be closer to me, to kiss me. there was just the right mixture of gentleness and roughness in the kiss.

don't even get me started on when they kissed my neck, especially when they did it while jessie was talking to me through the door. i seriously could've murdered them for that little stunt.

we both stopped and froze when we heard a loud knock on the door. we both turned to face it with wide eyes.

"saylor?" jessie called out.

i swallowed before i let out a weak "yeah?"

"we go on in five minutes," jessie informed me.

alex started to kiss my neck again. i bit my lip as i tangled my hand into their hair once more. "okay, i'll be out in a minute. thank you," i replied.

"alright. also, do you know what the hell alex's problem is? i tried knocking on their door, but they wouldn't answer."

alex let out a quiet laugh against my neck. they hummed against it. "yeah, what is my problem?" they whispered as they resumed kissing my neck.

"i hate you so much," i whispered back.

i let out a quiet, shaky exhale as they kiss right over where my neck meets my shoulder. being kissed there drives me crazy. i'm so thankful that i have great self control, because i know they wouldn't let me live it down if i had just moaned. don't get me wrong though; i was very close to letting out a moan when they kissed there.

"i-i don't know. i'm sure they'll be out in a bit though; they're not gonna make the show run late," i told jessie, stuttering a bit as i did.

"they better not," jess huffed before they walked off.

"god, you're fucking annoying," i grumbled as i tried to push alex back.

while we were performing, they discreetly sent me these looks. i can't even begin to describe them. nevertheless, the looks alone were enough to make me flustered and almost mess up while playing the guitar. then, when we stood in front of each other, they just smirked down at me the entire time with a knowing look in their eyes.

i let out a frustrated, yet flustered groan as i held my face in my hands. i could feel the warmth rising to my cheeks as i played everything over in my head.