SHATTERED

sixty-two

saylor

the next morning, i was disappointed to see that alex was no longer in the bed with me... but i can't exactly say that i was surprised.

it seems like every time something happens between us, like last night, that they seem to run. oddly enough, when something like this does happen, it happens before we fall asleep... and then by the morning, they're gone.

which, i'm sure there's some reason that they do, and a reason why they're so closed off when it comes to these kinds of things. i'll probably never know why though.

i sat up, and i rubbed at my face with a sleepy groan. i got up, and i went to the bathroom to do my morning routine. i fixed my hair, brushed my teeth, etcetera. after i was done, i walked out of my room... only to pause and stare forward with furrowed brows.

alex was standing in my kitchen. they had a bag of food in front of them, on the counter, as well as two cups of what seemed to be coffee. they glanced up at me when they heard the door open. their hair was covering their eyes though, so i couldn't really see them. they looked back towards the food.

"i thought you had left," i mumbled as i crossed my arms over my chest and walked over to them.

"well, i do have a tendency of doing that, huh?" they replied in a somewhat joking tone, but they still grimaced. "i'm trying not to... not before at least letting you know first," they told me awkwardly.

"i appreciate you trying," i gave a smile.

they still hadn't looked at me since i had walked in here. as i reached them, they said "i didn't even leave this morning; doordash is amazing," they told me. they seemed genuinely proud of their self, which i found adorable.

without much thought, i leaned my head into alex's side, and i snuggled close to them. they tensed up and took in a sharp inhale. unlike the other times i've done this, they didn't audibly freak out and ask what i was doing. instead, they slowly relaxed. i was surprised, but content, when they draped an arm around me.

"look at you go," i praised in a (still) sleepy murmur.

i glanced up at them, and i saw the blush rising to their cheeks. i giggled at how flustered my comment made them.

they're so cute.

they glanced down at me. "shush," they mumbled.

when they looked down at me, i was finally able to see their eyes for the first time today. my brows knitted together as i looked up at them.

they look like they've been crying...

"are you okay?" i asked softly.

they cleared their throat, and they turned their attention back to getting all of the food out of the bag that was on the counter. "yeah, i'm fine," they muttered. they hesitated for a moment. "i just— i'm on my period, and my emotions are all fucking over the place. i saw this sad tiktok about a little kitten, and it just—"

they stopped as they shook their head. "point is, i'm fine. it was just my period. i don't think i have to tell you that, that shit sucks," they raised their brows as they pressed their lips together.

i don't believe them; not entirely, at least. i don't really doubt that they're on their period, but i don't believe their reason for crying. i mean... i'm sure a sad tiktok about a cat would maybe make their eyes tear up some... but with the way their eyes look, they must've been crying for a while.

i just don't know what they would've been crying about, much less something to make them cry like that.

how did i not hear them?