• DRACO'S POV •
I sit in bed with my head in my hands and my eyes closed, trying my hardest to rationalise how I feel. I honestly don't know how I feel about Parker and it's so stupid and confusing and not fair to her at all.
I managed to steer the conversation in a different direction but I know if we continue doing whatever we are doing that she'll ask me again and my answer will be the same. Although I don't want to stop doing whatever we are doing because I enjoy her company and find myself wishing that she wouldn't go.
I'd prefer it if everything went back to how it used to be; her with Cedric and all of us hating each other but we fucked it up- I fucked it up by kissing her.
I didn't know what the hell I was doing when I kissed her. I just felt like it and then it was all I could think about. I kissed Melanie to try and get my stupid brain to focus on something else but it didn't work.
Parker blew this shit out of proportion.
We were having fun and then she decided to get mad because I said we're nothing but it's true. If I was in a relationship with her I can't even begin to count how many times she'd get unnecessarily upset and it puts me off even more yet when she's with me my mind changes and I just want her by my side.
Another thing is that she's just gotten out of a relationship. I have never felt this way before and it's terrifying and I know how attached people can be when they have gotten out of a relationship with someone and I can't compete with that...not that I want to. If I did want to date Parker, she'd be trying to move on the whole time and complicate this even more. She's too stubborn to admit that she wants me to ask her out but I know that she does.
I put myself in a shit position.
• ISABELLA'S POV •
The whole night I was tossing and turning; trying my hardest to stop myself from thinking that Malfoy is playing me. It's so stupid for me to even think but I can't help it.
When he kisses me, the feeling goes away.
When he smiles at me, the feeling goes away.
When he laughs at me, the feeling goes away.
I just want the feeling to go away without him having to be next to me, giving me attention. I've never felt so insecure and vulnerable like I do right now and I don't know if I am supposed to feel this way or not. Cedric always made me feel safe and secure, even before we started our relationship, he made it perfectly clear what his intentions and thoughts were and it was easy and I loved it.
Malfoy is so different.
I shouldn't be comparing the two because they are different in so many ways but I can't help it. Cedric and I's relationship was healthy before I messed it up and I was so happy. We had our wedding date picked out, our kid's names ready and everything was perfect. Malfoy is not the type of guy to do that but I need something. I need him to be consistent and stop changing his mind about me. I can't be in the middle for much longer because I know that it's going to get worse.
"Hi." Someone's voice says, pulling my mind away from it's toxic thoughts. I look to see Hermione stood next to my bed, nervously rubbing her arms. "Are you okay?"
"You sound hesitant." I comment, ignoring her question. I can't answer the question honestly because she isn't happy with Malfoy and I anyways and I can't lie because she'll know now.
"I didn't know how you were feeling after last night." The brunette replies and I nod; tucking my hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry, Bella. I was voicing my concerns and took it way too far. I love you and I don't want you to throw away something for Malfoy when I know that he's going to hurt you."
