Save your tears • Jasper Hale

•18•

A couple of days have passed since Lukka asking me out. I've since managed to avoid walking out with Tyler at the end of the day, due to the fact Lukka is always there.

Instead I wait and walk with Alec.

Speaking of the eldest Lightwood, he has been very affectionate lately. More than usual that is.

I'm use to him hugging me, kissing my forehead or nose, and cuddling with me. However I'm not use to him kissing my neck when I'm sitting on his lap, his hands sitting further down on my back getting dangerously low, or the fact when he kisses my nose he lingers.

Maybe I'm thinking too much into it. He is gay... however he did kiss me on thanksgiving...But he said it was gross...

I don't know.

the only way I will know is if I confront him.

I've managed to get him to walk with me outside and into the woods. It seems creepy but I would never hurt him.

Ever.

"So why are we walking in these cold ass woods in the middle of December?" He ask. I stop walking and stare at him.

"Are you actually gay?" He gives me a weird look and my eyes widen. "I'm sorry that's not how I wanted to say that! I meant to say are you sure you're just gay? That's not better either... idk how I'm trying to say what I want to say but I think you get it." I ramble out.

He stares at me with a straight face before he sighs out.

"I don't know... I know I do like guys but I think I may like girls too?"

"Have you been looking at other girls or is it just me?" I question softly.

He tenses at my question and stays silent. I walk closer to him, "you gotta give me an ans-I like you! No, I actually love you! And I don't really know why! We've been friends for so long and from what I knew I've always been strictly gay. Then I see you after a long time, I hear what your shitty ex did, how you almost died, and these feelings come out of nowhere! I want to act on them super bad but I don't want to fuck anything up!"

In an odd way my heart lurches in admiration.

"I love you too Alec... I always have. I just never voiced it in other ways because you told me you were gay and I respected that, I still do. But I would be a liar if I told you I never thought of us together."

He stays silent for a few seconds before grabbing my hand and looking at me, "do you want to try us?"

My breath hitches, "I-I don't know. I know what I said made it seem like I'm ready to try but I don't think I am? Believe it or not I'm still really hurt about ja-him-" a shiver goes up my spine as his name almost comes out.

"- and lukka is now a factor as well." He lightly squeezes my hand.

I notice flurries starting to fall and the moon illuminates the area around us.

"Let's just go slow? No commitment to eachother since we both don't know what's going on."

I look over his face for a few seconds and slowly nod.

"Ok, yeah..slow."

He presses a soft kiss against my lips. I close my eyes and kiss him back before he pulls away.

"Starting now."

I smile at his words.

I hear something snap making me tense. I whip my head to the side and stare into the woods.

A scent makes it way through my nose and it smells familiar, but I can't remember who it could be.

All I know is that I sense danger.