4Ever & a Day : The Next Generation of R5

Big Decisions for Embry

Embry

I sat on the couch in the teen club of the cruise ship. Romeo was filming his new Disney Channel show. My dad had even agreed to let me bring Cameron along since he was my best friend. I couldn't help thinking though if he knew what Cameron really meant to me he would probably forbid me to see him ever again.

I felt someone sit next me and I looked to my left to see my sister, Juliet, sitting next to me. She was my best friend, the sibling I was closest to. She was the only one who knew my secret. She put her arm behind me on the back of the couch and smiled at me.

I scanned the room for Cameron and when our eyes met we smiled at each other. I wished I could be like him. He wasn't afraid of who he was and he would tell the world he loved me if I would let him. I loved him more than life itself but my super conservative parents would freak if they found out.

"You really should tell daddy," Juliet encouraged me.

She wanted me to be happy and knew Cameron made me happy; but my dad wouldn't see it the way. I was too afraid how he would react if I told him.

"I can't Jules," I said, as I turned to look at her.

"Cameron deserves someone who is out and proud to be with him in public, Em," she sighed.

I looked at the ring on my finger. The damn purity ring my parents made us wear. I hated it. It made me feel guilty for loving Cameron, but I couldn't help who I was or who I loved. I had loved Cameron for two years now. Since the day he first kissed me at Becky Monroe's birthday party when I was thirteen. I had known for a while before that, I was attracted to guys and not girls. It was my first kiss with a guy, and it was magical. His kisses still were magical to me two year later. I loved the way kissing him made me feel.

"I know, but to be honest this ring makes me feel guilty sometimes. I want to just take it off and chuck it in the ocean," I confessed.

She laughed. "I know the feeling. I get so far with boys and this damn ring seems to burn my finger, like it knows. Then I feel like daddy is watching me and I have to stop."

"Romeo is the only one of us who really takes it seriously," I said.

"Yeah he's never even kissed a girl before," Juliet replied.

Hailey had just gotten hers for her thirteenth birthday and Montague was still too young to really understand what it meant. Juliet and I, however, wanted to burn them. How Hailey reacted to it was yet to be seen. She'd only had it about a couple of months now. Juliet had a track record a mile long, although she had never been all the way with a guy, she had kissed plenty.

I glanced over at Cameron again and saw him talking to another guy. I was instantly jealous.

"Em," she touched my hand and I turned to look at her. "You need to tell dad. He loves you. He may be upset at first, but he'll come around. You need to embrace who you are. You can't change it."

I knew she was right, but this cruise ship was not the place to do it. I would wait till we got home to tell him. She was right Cameron deserved a boyfriend who was out and proud to be with him. Not one who was trying to hide who he was from the world and his parents. I made the decision right there that when we got home there would be no more hiding.

"Well, I'm gonna go find Mandy," Juliet got up and kissed me on the cheek.

I watched her walk away and then a girl came and sat next to me. She was pretty. Her long, curly, blond hair flowed down her back. Her eyes were the color of the ocean and someone could get lost in them, if they were into that. She was wearing a bikini top and shorts. I smiled as she sat there trying to show off her chest to me, but not for the reason she thought I was smiling at her.

"Hi, I'm Frankie," she said, as she flashed me a big toothy grin.

"Hi, Frankie. I'm Embry," I said back.

"So was that your girlfriend, Embry?"

"No," I tried not to laugh. I looked up and Cameron was staring at me from across the room. He was assessing my reaction. I gave him a help me look and he laughed.

"So do you have a girlfriend?"

God, this girl was forward. She laid her hand on my thigh and I smiled nervously. I tried not to cringe away, but I wanted her hand off me. I just let her sit it there though and said nothing. I tried to pretend it was Cameron's hand and that made it a little more bearable.

"No," I answered honesty. I didn't have a girlfriend so it wasn't a lie, but I was taken and not looking for one.

"Do you want one? I've been watching you and you're really cute," she said as she leaned closer to me.

She was so close I could fee her breath on my face. She smelled like mint and strawberries. It made me a little nauseous. All I wanted to smell this close to me was Cameron's cologne. I made the mistake of making eye contact with her and she inched closer. She was going to kiss me. I felt the panic rising inside me. I didn't want to kiss her. What did I do? I didn't want to be rude, but she was to close for comfort.

"Look, Frankie, you're really pretty and I'm sure you're a great girl but I'm..."

I cut off when I felt a pair of arms wrapped around my waist. I leaned back into them because I knew they belonged Cameron. I got butterflies in my stomach when he touched me. I knew he was smiling at Frankie and the look on her face was priceless.

"He's in love with someone else," Cameron said.

Frankie's eyes got really big and she laughed nervously. She didn't move she just stared at us. I turned my head and kissed Cameron. It took him by surprise. I had never kissed him in public so it took him a minute to actually kiss me back. When he did though I was glad I had kissed him. I had just made a big step. I had outed myself to the whole teen club, but these were strangers I'd never see again. So did it really count?