4Ever & a Day : The Next Generation of R5

Losing It All

Bethenny 

As I pulled up to Jacob's house I noticed a car that wasn't his in the driveway. He was supposed to be the only one home this afternoon, which was the reason I had come by. I sat in my car and debated whether to go in or not. If it was Bea I could just pretend I had come by to see her and just needed a friend. I hadn't seen her in a while and this was all getting harder and harder for me to hide from her and Ryland. I had really come to talk to Jacob alone.

I mustered up all my courage and got out of the car. When I got to the door it opened before I could ring the doorbell and Rebecca came out. She stared at me with a confused look on her face. I didn't know what to say to her. She stormed past me to her car and slammed her car door. Jacob opened the door and ran into me.

"I was just about to call you," he said as he invited me in.

I followed him to the kitchen. He went to the cabinet above the fridge and got out the scotch. He went to another cabinet and got a glass. I watched as he poured the scotch into the glass and took a drink. Then some pictures on the table caught my attention. I walked over to table and looked at them.

"She's gonna kill me. I might as well drink the whole fucking bottle," Jacob said from behind me.

"Did Rebecca see these?" I asked.

"Yeah," Jacob said as I picked one up and turned around.

Jacob took a big swig of the bottle of scotch. I stared down at the picture. In the picture Jacob was kissing someone but you couldn't see her face just her long brown hair. He had her pushed up against a wall. It was obvious they were together. I threw the picture back on the table and went over to where Jacob was standing. I touched his arm.

"It'll be okay. We'll figure it out," I said.

"You don't get it. She'll take me for everything I have if she finds out," Jacob said.

"Who's going to tell her?'" I asked.

"Rebecca, she and Bea are very close. She probably called her as soon as she got in the car," Jacob said.

I wanted to run. There was no proof it was me. I could just walk away and never look back. Jacob would never tell anyone it was me. This had been going on way too long anyway. If it all came out not only would it ruin two marriages it would ruin a friendship. Jacob and Ryland had been friends over twenty years and now I could be the reason that all came tumbling down.

"I know what you're thinking. Did you look at all the pictures or just that one?" he asked.

As he took a drink from the bottle of scotch I went back to the table. I looked through the pictures until I saw it. It was a picture of me and Jacob kissing by my car. You could clearly see my face in the picture and my red car was unmistakable. This was why Rebecca gave me that look. She knew it was me.

"Need a drink now?" Jacob asked as he came to stand behind me and offered me the bottle.

He was so close I could feel his breath on my neck. All I could do was stare at the picture. I wanted to tear it to shreds but I had a suspicion these weren't the only copies. I had to think and having him so close wasn't helping. He reached in front of me and swept the pictures off the table with his hand. I turned around and looked at him. I had to stop this but it was already too late.

So I kissed him. The bottle of scotch slipped from his hand and fell to the floor. It shattered in a million pieces. I thought for a minute, before Jacob deepened the kiss, how symbolic that was. This was going to shatter so many hearts. He picked me up and sat me on the table. My skirt road up as he slid his hands up my thighs. I locked my hand in his hair pulling him closer.

"You know I was hoping it wasn't true," a voice said from beside the table.

We stopped kissing and turned to see Ryland standing there. He walked over and grabbed Jacob by the collar pulling him away from me. Jacob stumbled back but kept his balance. Then Ryland swung at him. He made contact with Jacob's eye. He hit him several more times but Jacob wasn't fighting back. He wasn't even trying to block Ryland's punches.

"Ryland stop it!" I screamed.

Ryland turned to look at me and I hopped off the table. I slipped in the scotch on the floor and Jacob reached out to catch me. Next thing I knew his arms were around me. I could see the rage in Ryland's eyes as he watched us. Over Ryland's shoulder I noticed Bea come into the kitchen. She gave me the evil eye. I looked away quickly.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked. I could see the concern in his eyes. I smiled at him and nodded.

"Wow it's been a long time since you've looked at me that way," Bea said.

Jacob looked up at her as he noticed her for the first time. "Look I wish I could say I'm sorry but I can't lie and say I am. The truth is things between us haven't been right for a while and we both know it."

"So you had to go and have an affair with my best friend?" Bea asked.

"What about your producer?" Jacob asked.

Ryland and I were looking back and forth like we were watching a tennis match. I had no idea what to do. This was something they needed to discuss in private and Ryland and I needed to leave to talk too.

"What?" Bea tried to look confused.

"Don't play stupid I've known for a while now. Although I cheated first," Jacob confessed.

"How long has this been going on?" Ryland asked looking at me for an answer.

"Three years," I answered quietly.

"Three years? So you've pretended to be my friend for the past three years while you were fucking my wife?" Ryland asked Jacob.

"Look Ryland I wasn't pretending. You are my friend," Jacob pleaded.

"No, we are NOT friends. A true friend would never betray me like you have," Ryland said with hurt in his voice.

I wanted to go to Ryland and say I was sorry. I knew thought that wasn't what he wanted to hear because like Jacob I would be lying. I had come to love Jacob over the past three years and now that everything was out in the open I wasn't sure I even wanted to be with Ryland anymore. Even if I lost them both in the process it was time to let Ryland go.

Ryland turned to leave then stopped. Without looking at me he said, "You can come by later and get your stuff."

Then he turned around and stared at me for a second. "One more question, is Ansel even my son or does he belong to Jacob?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

"Well I guess we'll be having a paternity test asap because I'm not paying child support if he's not mine!" Ryland said.

I watched him leave with tears in my eyes. I knew it was over and he would never forgive me. I wouldn't forgive myself anytime soon either. I looked at Bea and she didn't say anything as she stared back at me. I wanted to tell her I was sorry and I truly was sorry for losing her as a friend and ruining her marriage. But then again she had cheated too, not that that made what Jacob and I did any better or made me feel better about it.

"So I guess I'm done too. I can't do this anymore. We have really become strangers and I'll be the one to leave. Since you are the one who paid for this house. You'll be hearing from my lawyer," Bea said. She turned and left the kitchen.

And just like that my life as I knew it crumbled around me.