4Ever & a Day : The Next Generation of R5

I'm Not Ready to Say Goodbye

Riot

I was sitting in the living room with my cello between my legs and my bow moving across the strings. I was lost in the music. I let the music take over my body as I became one with the cello. It was my escape lately. I knew my mom was sick and her health was declining. While I was playing I didn't think about anything but the music. I had been playing more and more lately.

Charlotte and Rhapsody came through the door and I just kept playing. Rhapsody came over and stood beside me. She acted like she was holding a cello and she moved the bow across the strings, playing an imaginary song. I wanted to get her some lessons but Charlotte thought she was too young. I had tried to explain to her I was her age when I started to play but she still insisted we wait. I stopped playing and then put the cello aside. I got up and walked over to Charlotte and kissed her.

Just as I did my phone buzzed on the coffee table. We froze for a second as we both glanced at it and saw my dad's name on the screen. For some reason my stomach dropped and I felt like I wanted to throw up. I went over and picked up the phone form the table and answered it.

"Hi dad," I tried to sound like I wasn't expecting bad news.

"Riot you, Charlotte and Rhapsody need to come to LA as soon as possible. Your mom's in the hospital," his voice cracked when he said it and I knew it was bad.

I couldn't say anything and tears sprang to my eyes. Rhapsody came over and hugged my legs. Charlotte knew from my face something was wrong and she grabbed my hand. I just looked at her and started to sob. She took the phone from me and spoke to my dad. I let go of her hand and picked up Rhapsody. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my mom.

"Daddy okay?" she asked.

I just shook my head. She put her arms around my neck and nuzzled her face in my neck. God I hoped she was never put in the position I was to have to say goodbye to me at such a young age. I was only twenty two and this was the second time I was going to say goodbye to my mom. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach though that this time it was for real. She had been relying on her oxygen more and more in the past year or so. There wasn't going to be a last minute miracle that could save her.

Ryssa

I had just come out of the shower after being on stage. Liam and I were sitting in the hotel room feeding the girls. It was late and I couldn't wait for this tour to be over. Being able to have the girls with us had been amazing though. When Violet and Nick went off to party Liam and I came back to the girls. I loved being a mom and they were my world.

As I sat there I thought about the night Liam and Nick had watched the girls so Violet and I could go out after a concert. We had come back to the hotel room around three to find them lying on the bed with the babies on their chests. The babies were wide awake and Liam and Nick were both passed out. It was the funniest thing ever. Violet had said later Nick told her he wasn't ready to have kids anytime soon.

I looked over at Liam and Sydney was asleep in his arms. He smiled at her like he loved her so much. He got up and laid her down in her pack and play and came back to get Guin from me and did the same to her. He sat back down beside me on the little couch in our room and pulled me into his arms.

We just sat there like that for a few minutes and watched the girls sleep. I had been thinking a lot about my mom lately. I know she was sick and I hated being so far away from her and in a different city just about every night. I wanted Violet to have someone she trusted in her band as she pursued her solo career, which was the reason Liam and I had agreed to do it. As I went to bed every night I left my phone on because I wondered if this would be the night I'd get the call form my dad.

Just as I was about to get up my phone rang. Liam and I both glanced at it and saw it was my dad. I took a deep breath and let it out before I answered the phone. I didn't want to answer it and I held it in my hand as it rang. I knew what it was about before I said hello.

"Ryssa you guys need to be on the next plane back to LA. Your mom's in the hospital and it's time to..." he didn't finish as his voice cracked and he started to sob.

"Okay," I managed to say before I broke down.

Liam took the phone from me and talked to my dad. I didn't pay any attention to what he was saying. I got up and walked over to where my girls were sleeping. I hoped they were never put in the situation to have to say goodbye to me so young.

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