Chapter 58: Another whole, not half

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Chapter 58: Another whole not half

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Chapter 58: Another whole not half


Walking into his walk-in closet, Jimin glances at his middle size luggage that's opened on the floor. He hasn't been hanging his clothes up. This is temporary. Jimin took some essentials here. It'd be too much to take everything.

Hitting the play button on his phone. It's the same psychology channel Jimin loves to listen to. He usually listens to them while doing his morning routine. It keeps him sane. It gives him inputs to deal with things in real life.

Jimin takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. He imagines that the oxygen is going through his body as much as possible. As detailed as possible. He exhales deeply before he does the same thing again. In the chaos he's in, what's better than coming back to himself just by breathing.

Letting out a sigh. Jimin looks at himself in the mirror. Time for skin care. He loves his skincare time in the morning and night. Jimin looks at dark circles under his eyes that disturb him, but instead of whining about it. Jimin knows he should just sleep more, or if sleep or skincare don't help, he'll use money to inject some filler, why not? if these dark circles bother his confidence. Jimin learned to think of his flaws kindly. Thanks to that psychology channel that became his friends whenever he was cooking, doing dishes, putting away his clothes and cleaning his room. The channel kept him sane.

Well, dark circles have their stories, no? It tells Jimin that he works hard, no? In this case, the dark circles remind him that he had that amazing sex with Jungkook, last night.

Jeon Jungkook. What does Jimin do with him? Can't imagine not having Jungkook's presence anymore, but at the same time, can't give in. Jimin looks at himself in the mirror. This Park Jimin knows he's enough, but some memories cause him to feel the need to tell himself more often, and being enough in action is to work hard and take care of himself.

Jimin did not grow up with a low self-esteem. He doesn't have big insecurities that take over his body to make him hate how he looks. However, rejections can make people feel like they're not enough, and to feel like he's enough, Jimin was on the wrong path for some time before he found the right path. The path of becoming whole where he doesn't need anyone to make him feel completed. And that 'anyone', unknowingly, it's Jungkook.

But along the journey, with time, Jimin learned that no one can fill him up and become whole but himself.

Jimin created the mess for himself because of Jungkook, and when Jungkook decided to stop replying, Jimin created more and more mess for himself. He had been chasing after some sort of fantasy of someone to replace Jungkook. Someone better than Jungkook to finally completely get over Jungkook.

Sometimes, in life, one has to learn the hard way to rise back up gracefully. It didn't happen in one day. It had been happening through the years, and his whole journey is still on until present.

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