AWAKENED HEART (The first heartbeat)

CHAPTER 27

The maid came knocking at the door to bring food, and Yibo opened the door and went outside. He took the tray from his maid before thanking her and got back into the room, he sat the food tray on the side table and looked at Zhan who had been shooting daggers at him ever since he found out what Yibo did to him last night. Yibo had been standing by the door, holding the door handle just incase if Zhan three something at him. He was strong yes, but he respected Zhan to a point where he gave him his title of being his gē and that he should be afraid of him. Zhan knew that very well and he also knew that he couldn't do anything to Yibo in a state he was in.

He was in pain, especially when he moved he felt like there were needles in his hole while feeling as if there was something stuck in his poor hole and didn't wanna come out. That wasn't the worst of it, his waist was in so much pain that even moving his arms was too painful to bear. Yibo told gave him a glance and decided that it would be better if he left the room for a little while. He took his gown and wore his slippers and went downstairs where he found his three mischievous bodyguards sitting down having a meal. The instant they saw him, they stood up and wiped their mouth and waited for orders, but Yibo didn't even spare a glance at them. He went out the back door into the garden next to the staff quarters and sat on a bench.

Baba who had his eyes on him the minute he walked down followed him while the two tried to stop him. But Baba was so persistent because he knew how Larry felt when he 'punished' just like Yibo had punished Zhan. He went over and sat by the bench but didn't say anything, it was quite for a few minutes until Yibo started talking to Baba. He needed someone to talk to them more than ever. He was so confused and just needed advice on what to do or feel at the moment.

"You know gē...last night I didn't want to hurt him, I just wanted to punish him in a way that he would also like it and ask for more. I guess I went too far with this whole thing. The thing is...I didn't know when enough is really enough, I got caught up by what I was feeling and when I didn't hear him calling my name or yelling that he was in pain...I thought he was liking it. I didn't check to see why he went quite. Gē...I'm new to this, I'm used to doing that to girls and they would like it, I just never thought it would be different with Zhan gē. I thought he was stronger since he was a man and that he could take it...but I was wrong...I almost brought back his suffering from years ago.

I'm such a monster...his could I do this to him...? He's never gonna forgive me and I might aswell say goodbye to our relationship which I tried so hard to keep. He's here now cause he can't move and when he does....I'm never gonna see him again...(sad)"

"Yibo don't be so hard on yourself, this kind of relationship doesn't really come with instructions. We learn each day how to treat each other better, how to fulfil each other's needs and that we do that guided by the love we have for those we want to be with. Love is love...it doesn't matter if it's make or female and it can make one do stupid things and also sensible things. Because of our dominant side...we men want to feel more pleasure...more pain ...more of everything and that drives us. That's how we are, you did what a man does and because you did it to a man and he's hurt...it doesn't mean you didn't do it right or that he's less of a man either. Listen Yibo...the best way you two can work this out...is to talk and be honest with each other what is it that you want in your relationship. How you want it to happen and one more important thing...you need to express your love the same way you would to a woman. Heck..! There are a lot of things that I don't know myself even after being with Larry for that many years.

We learn as we go...each and everyday is a lesson just like everyone else. We get confused a lot of times especially when the relationship is new, that's when the fight for dominance arises and it could even created a distance between those who really love each other if no better communication is absent. You don't need to force each other or yourselves to find a solution on who should top and who should bottom. You need to talk about it more and understand each other more before doing it."