AWAKENED HEART (The first heartbeat)

CHAPTER 38

"Zhan gē...can I have you tonight...?"

"What..? What are you saying...? Stop it."

"Come on Zhan gē, I haven't had you since last week when and before that we did it before you were...you know.. dissapeared. Once we go back to work, you will complain about not getting enough rest. These days you don't even allow me to touch you. Did I do something wrong...?"

Zhan looked away from Yibo and it was clear to Yibo that something was on his mind. Zhan indeed has something in his mind. Something he had seen, or rather...read a few minute ago while Yibo was in the bathroom. He did t know how to ask Yibo about it and he also didn't want to annoy Yibo with baseless questions, so...he covered it up and said...

"No..you didn't do anything... I..I just don't want to get pregnant..that's all."

"Then if so, we can use protection, I don't mind..or we can go to the hospital and have my-"

"NO! How could you say that so carelessly..? I don't want to hear you say that again. What if you decide that you want to have kids someday..? Do you think I will let you ruin your life because of me..?"

"Yes...cause my partner doesn't want to have kids, and Zhan gē, I'm not ruining my life..I'm just doing what will make the one I love look at me the same way he did before. To let me touch him like I did before...before things changed."

Yibo lowered his head, he knew he had to face facts sooner or later. He would sometimes look at Zhan, I mean...secretly look at Zhan, and he would see that things between them have changed ever since Zhan was kidnapped. He wished he could get Zhan to talk to someone about what's in his mind but he also didn't know if Zhan will agree to that.

In the past few days, he saw how stressed Zhan was and he knew that his long kept stress was added by the pressure of going to work. He has to go to work in a few days and he still has no manager.

Things were difficult for Zhan, he also didn't want to bother Yibo any further with his problems. He was grateful that he had helped him when he did, but he just didn't want him to waste his career. So without even thinking, Zhan just blurted out..

"Huh.! You're so sure of yourself, how do you know..? Your partner might want kinds some day and here you are talking about..算了suàn le.. people are demanding these days"

"People..? Zhan gē..what are you talking about..?"

"Nothing..just saying...ha..ha..ha..don't mind me."

"What's going on with you these days..? You're always acting strange and I'm starting to get uncomfortable. Why do I feel as if...as if...you're leaving me again"

"It's nothing, it's just that I'm tired that's all."

"Are you not feeling well.?"

"I am...I just-.."

Zhan didn't finish his reply and Yibo even let it go. Zhan had been acting strange for the past few days, refusing Yibo to touch him and thus making him constantly run to the shower to relieve himself. The last time they had it was the time Zhan went crazy and refused to stop...you know...the time he woke up and reprimanded Baba and Larry about how they treated each other and that was it.

Something happend that evening and Zhan just tried to let it go. He didn't want to sound like he was complaining or something. Yibo had tried so hard to let it go because Zhan was still keeping his lips tight. There was three days left before they went back to work and Yibo was still thirsty for more of Zhan's kisses and Zhan's taste.