NEVER IN A FOREVER (Manan)

27

Manik

“It’s Madhyam” her voice was quiet but it felt like that’s what I could hear. I felt her fingers tighten around mine when I felt like running away.

“I don’t regret our marriage Manik, if anything, I’m thankful that I’m married to you” Her voice was soft that calmed the burning sensation in my chest a little.

Why do you want to talk about him if you are okay with marriage? My heart screamed.

“I don’t want him in my life anymore” her words settled my heart at peace.

“But I need to talk to him. I want to know what he did, I want to move on, I want my heart to belong only to you, but his memories are giving me conflicted emotions that I’m not able to handle. Don’t get angry but I need this if I want to start my life with you” She said looking at our interlocked fingers.

Guilt crept over my chest as I thought about it. I was selfish and told myself that is mine and she will be but never thought she needs a closure of things and needs to adjust at a new place. Mainly after what her parents said.

But saying everything to her means showing her my past, something I’m not ready to do yet. I don’t know if I’d ever let her see my past.

It wasn’t good, it was nasty and ugly, something that turned me this cold. But Nandini Malhotra managed to break the cold shield into pieces and seeped into every cell of my body.

But I think I’ll just let her know about Madhyam’s part.

“When do you want to go see him?” I asked her even though every part of my body protested to take her to that bastard.

I don’t know if she will be able to take it. She’d assume that her parents were right and will start feeling guilty about it.

God save me from Nyonika Malhotra’s wrath.

“Now?” She asked, her voice conflicted as if she doesn’t know if she has to go or not.

“Only after you eat lunch,” I said. If we are doing it, I’d at least make her eat lunch.

She made a bad face but nodded her head anyway. Aah my wife hates eating food then.

“What do you want to eat?” I asked her, sure that she’ll ask for junk but I’d let that slide as she cried too much and she needs food.

“White sauce pasta,” She said excitedly.

“What a healthy dish” I grumbled and called Piyush and asked him to send white sauce pasta and red sauce pasta by a peon.

She was scrolling through her mobile and I let her be and started going through my mails on my laptop.

I’d have to take that damn meeting that was scheduled today at 1 A.M. in the night because clients left for their country and I was supposed to take that meeting.

If not for Nandini, I’d have the meeting now on video conference but I’m not telling her that.

There was a knock on my door and I knew that it was a peon. I was about to let him in while Nandini already started walking to the door.

I shook my head in disbelief and continued working so that I could see what she could do.

“Thank you” I heard her voice as she locked the door holding the tray in her hands, her eyes twinkling at the pasta and I held back  my chuckle, trying to appear serious as I typed the last mail and heard the click sound as she placed the tray on the small table before us and sat beside me.

“You start eating Nandini, I have a few more mails to reply to” I said as a few more mails poured into my notifications. So much for having lunch with my wife.

I groaned internally and started typing again but she didn't move a bit. I stopped typing and looked at her.

"I'll eat with you. I'll wait" she said as she grabbed her mobile and sat on the couch folding her legs and I shook my head.

"These are urgent but we need to go and come back fast, and you eat as fast as a toddler. Come on eat" I said and concentrated on my emails.

I felt her picking up the bowl and spoon and smiled as my fingers clicked on the keyboard.

"Manik" her voice made me look at her and saw her holding a spoon full of red sauce pasta directed towards me.

"Please" she said and the little resistance that I was trying to hold flew out of the window and I opened my mouth and let her feed me as I worked on my mails.

She ate along with feeding me and by the time I was done with the emails, we were done eating and she even had her juice like a good girl.

I shut my laptop down and kept it in my bag as she used the washroom in my room that is attached to my cabin through a door.

I waited for a few minutes before she came back and drank water as we exited the office after asking Piyush to send files for the meeting tonight.

Luckily I completed all the work beforehand for marriage and as Nandini has exams, I think we'll postpone our honeymoon until she is done with her exams and adjusted in our home.

I opened the door for her and she sat inside with a silly smile on her face that reflected mine as I sat in the car and started driving to the warehouse and when I realised what was going to happen, the smile on my face wiped away and looks like even Nandini has the same thoughts.

"Nandini, whatever happened there, I want you to be strong. You need to control your emotions until you are there" I told her calmly as I turned the route out of the highway and texted in the group where Abhi, Cabir and Dhruv are there that I'm heading to the warehouse and asked them to bring girls too.

I'm sure I'll be out of control after seeing the asshole and I need Nandini to be calm and sane when I'll be losing my mind.

"Are you sure Nandini is ready to know that madhyam is involved in drugs and shit?" Abhi's message made me wonder how he kept his calm when he found the shit.