NEVER IN A FOREVER (Manan)

66

Manik

I heard the click of the door as I typed furiously on the laptop, trying not to remember what it was in two days. But can I? No! And that's bullshit.

I didn’t pay attention to whoever it was because I already had an idea. And I didn’t even dare to raise my head. She’d make me want to break every damn wall of mine and cry in her arms telling what I’m going through.

I took a shaky breath, trying not to show any change in my stance.

I still remember how it was three days ago. The first month of our marriage. She decorated the whole room with the selfies we took, cleared all the lights and used cute LED’s all over with a black neon sign saying ‘Mr and Mrs Manik Malhotra’ I swear I lost my breath at the decoration.

With candle lighting, our balcony was decorated with a cosy place with her laptop and movie, snacks, wine, my favourite food as dinner, it was supposed to be a perfect day.

Despite having exams, she managed to do everything in her room and I was beyond impressed. I fell in love with her once more.

She didn’t have an exam that day and I escaped the whole day, just because I didn’t want to face her.

She was so excited, left almost ten texts in my messages, waiting for me at our home wearing a saree, and dare I say she never wears saree and she looked like an angel in the white saree, bare makeup and anklets and bangles I started to love.

I felt like a bastard for leaving her whole day when she was waiting for me. I went home around midnight to find everything decorated. She was sleeping on the sofa, looking tired and a few dried tears on her face.

I wanted to wake her up and the urge to cry and apologise for avoiding her the whole day filled my senses but I had to keep my distance from her as much as I could.

I made her lay on bed without disturbing her sleep and kissed her head with a silent apology and changed myself before sleeping.

Waking up, I found nothing. Nor my wife, nor any of the single decorations. Everything, as if the decoration was never there.

But I know there was. She did everything herself. She knows I hate when I have people in my room other than her and my family so she did all the hard work.

I thought she’d throw a fit and cry or avoid me like plague. But I was surprised when all ten messages from her were deleted in my mobile, it was like she didn’t do anything.

She left for Mukti's house telling my mom that she was there for combined studies and mom was disappointed with me. She said Nandini didn’t eat a single thing the whole day waiting for me.

I felt like the worst husband ever. Who didn’t acknowledge his wife’s efforts, their special day, her cooking, herself completely.

She came back and talked to me like our one month anniversary never existed. That broke me a bit more if possible.

She was getting punished for something she didn’t even know what happened. I didn’t even press on the matter of the anniversary.

I know how much she had to prepare herself because the marriage was forced on her yet I avoided her. Her calls, messages, everything.

And that little angel made sure I won’t feel guilty and cleared off everything without telling me.

I didn’t deserve her. But I’m too selfish to let her go.

My laptop was suddenly shut and my gaze met with my angry wife. She was glaring at me with her hands on her waist, her face red with anger and fury. I was pushing all her buttons and I was aware of that.

“What happened, Nandini?” I snapped unintentionally. She didn’t even flinch. She got it in her now. She doesn’t flinch at my snaps and anger.

If more, she glares back at me like daring me to do it again. She habituated my anger and cranky state too.

“That’s what I’m asking, what happened Manik?” She asked loudly. I pressed my lips together to control my smile. It’s so amusing to see her soft self going all fireball on me.

And trust me when I say this, until now, she never went out of control with my anger or my tantrums. She took them calmly and lovingly.

“If you don’t come to lunch with me right now, I’d hire someone to crash all your computers or do it myself” She glared right into my soul.

“I’m busy, you go and eat, I’ll do it later” I said, opening my laptop.

“Fuck you Manik” She yelled before going to the room that was behind my book shelf and locked it. I looked at her stunned.

Did She curse and just show her back to me? I’m loving her fierce state. But the guilt showed its ugly head again. My mobile buzzed with my mother’s call.

Groaning, I picked it up.

“Yes mom?” I waited for her to speak.

“Manik Malhotra, I swear to god I’d put restraining orders against you for Nandini if she doesn’t eat her lunch today. I’m so done with your tantrums I don’t know how she is bearing. She is on her periods today and she doesn’t deserve the shit you are putting her through.You are not even allowed inside our home if my daughter doesn’t eat anything” My mother roared, hanging up without giving a chance for me to speak.

What the hell was that? Periods? God I forgot. She had pills on our marriage to avoid periods and I realised her cramps would go worse now. Fuck.

What the hell are you doing Manik? To her? To you?

I immediately ordered Piyush to get lunch for us and ordered chocolates, pads, hot water bag and a few icecreams for her through swiggy.

Shutting down my laptop, I paced in the room, trying to calm my anger down. I’m angry at myself and she shouldn’t be on the receiving end. I can’t forgive myself if I hurted her again.

In twenty minutes, everything was here in a tray on my couch. Hoping to calm her down, I unlocked the shelf with the password before opening the door. And the door didn’t unlock.

“Nandini” I called, knocking on the door. There was no reply. What if she fell unconscious or something happened to her? My heart dropped at the thought.