NEVER IN A FOREVER (Manan)

43

Nandini

The good mood I had this morning when I woke up despite not sleeping just burnt down to ashes at my feet as Maa was scolding Manik to be careful, my mind still running about the ‘princess’ on repeat again and again and I lost my appetite even after having my favourite food in front of me.

It just feels like a movie is running in front of me, something I can’t react to or something I don’t have any opinion on but I know I have to say something before they start noticing my silence.

“Mom, don’t worry, I got a doctor's appointment and he is getting stitches today after breakfast” I said softly and she snapped her head in my direction, her brows knitted in confusion, her eyes looking hurt for a moment. Did I do something?

It took me another moment to realise that even papa and Dhruv were looking at me while Manik was playing with his food with his left hand.

“Bhabhi are you okay?” Dhruv asked, concerned.

“Yeah, why would you ask that?” I asked, acting confused despite my mind not registering anything.

“You called her mom, not maa” Dhruv said and I looked at him with wide eyes and shook my head in no.

“I didn’t” I frowned. I knew Nyonika Malhotra loved when I called her mom, even before me and Manik got engaged, and I never called her that because she was maa. A home that every daughter wishes for.

“You did beta,” Papa said softly, his eyes filled with worry as he looked at my face to find something he could say that was stressing me out.

I blinked my eyes for a moment, trying to remember if I said it but I couldn’t remember. But I’m sure they won’t be lying. My hands automatically went to the edge of my dupatta as I fisted it in my palm out of habit.

“Are you okay baccha?” Maa asked.
[baccha- baby]

I nodded my head but I could see it on her face that she didn’t believe me. I sighed.

“I’m just worried about his hand mo- maa” I corrected myself. What is wrong with me? Why am I using mom too many times today?

“I’ll have to talk to Mukti, I’m not having an appetite, sorry” I muttered, getting up before I get any panic attack if I sit there between narrowed gazes while my husband was as good as a tortoise, slow moments and quiet.

I walked back to the guest room carefully and tried to be as normal as possible as I felt their gazes on me.

And my feet magically got pierced by another glass piece in the same spot as yesterday night when I went to our room this morning. I don’t know why we keep on getting hurt at the same spot if we get injured once.

I stuck to the band aids rather than bandages so that no one notices it and I’m glad I did. Attention is the last thing on my mind.

I opened the door and closed it behind me and released the breath that I didn’t know I was holding. Damn.

Calm down Nandini, calm down. Breath, just breath. I looked for my mobile and found it on the night stand and grabbed it immediately. I dialled Mukti’s number and kept it on speaker as I laid on bed, facing my back to the door. 

“This better be important if you are calling me this early on sunday morning” Mukti’s voice sounded groggy and I felt guilty for waking her up.

She writes novels too but they are published and are one of the bests of India with a pen name that no one could say that it was by Mukti and she was working on novels and studies side-by-side continuously.

She has only one day of rest and now I’m spoiling it.

“It’s nothing, go back to sleep, call me once you are up” I said softly, trying to control my voice that threatened to break in front of my best friend.

Despite having Navya and Alia, Mukti comes first to me and we have a lot in common, that makes us closer.

“Breath Nandu” She yawned and there was some shuffling sound and I assume she was trying to get rid of her sleep.

“I’m fine, just sleep. I forgot you are working on the series” I said sincerely. Burdening her with my in-laws' house problems is not even the last thing on my bucket list. 

"I know you better than that Nandini. What happened? Any Nightmares?" She asked, guessing my usual answer.

"No it's not, I don't know anything to even speak what I want to talk about" I said, feeling stupid because that didn't make any sense.

"You mean to say you can't put the thing that happened in words?" She asked. How did I get this lucky? She is the bestest friend anyone could ask for.

"I think so," I said, feeling lost.

"Is there anything I could do to make you feel better?" She asked.

"Talking to you actually made me feel better,” I said.

I could feel her smile on the other side. She chuckled.

“There babe, I know you love me but you have a husband and I’m having a crush on your brother, but most of all we are not lesbos to do it, so for this life, let’s adjust as best friends” she said dramatically and I bursted into fits of laughter.

“Bad joke Muku” I teased, using the nickname she hates.

“I hate you, glad we are not lesbos now” She said grumpily, that only made me laugh more.

“I thought you told me we could convert ourselves the last time we were high on chocolates” I played along.

“I lied, because you were the one buying chocolates that day” She said chuckling.

“Cheater” I whined. That made her laugh.

“I’d love to be one, but I’ll call you once I’m done getting freshen up, eww I hate morning breath” She muttered.

“Sure, bye” I hung up after hearing her reply. I sighed when my mobile buzzed with the reminder, and I unlocked it to see it and it read appointment in forty-five minutes.

“Aah I need to get Manik to hospital” I sat straight immediately and turned, to find Manik already standing there in a plain red t-shirt and a blue blazer and black jeans and my breath hitched. Damn this Greek god.

I hate myself because I’m crushing over my husband rather than fearing that he heard me talking with Mukti. I sure as hell know my priorities, god save me.