NEVER IN A FOREVER (Manan)

46

Manik

I took a few steps back as I heard Nandini’s payal sound. She might have got up.

I sat on the chair like I didn’t hear them talk while I actually did. And my heart literally melted like ice on a sunny day.

This woman will turn me crazy soon. I thought as the door creaked lightly and Nandini walked out with her handbag and prescription.

I stood up as I saw her but she avoided me and walked away without even looking at me.

What the hell? I stomped my feet as I followed her. Honestly, it killed me when I saw the look on her face in the morning.

It felt like someone ripped my heart and crushed it as she controlled her tears or when she ran to her best friend to calm herself because her husband is a bastard who hurted her.

And I can’t forgive myself for that. I should’ve been the one calming her, telling her the truth and wiping her tears.

But I can’t.

I can’t tell her the truth. She’ll hate me and won't even glance at me ever again. I hate myself for whatever I did but I can’t let her hate me. I can’t taint her innocence but I can’t leave her either.

She has been giving me the cold shoulder since morning and I was the one to be blamed.

I wouldn’t admit but the way she applied the brakes on the car and lost herself for a few moments there, I lost my breath. I thought she got triggered by my actions this morning.

I can’t lose another woman in my life again with my recklessness. Every moment she is avoiding me, it feels like she is going away from me.

But the moment I talk to her, she’d ask about s… her. I don’t want to remember anything that was related to my past. I just can’t. But I can’t spend my whole life avoiding her either. I’d die.

I was lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realise she even brought the medicines and paid for them. God such a dumb human I’m.

“Nandini” I called her out. She stopped walking and turned to me. Her eyes were blank, but I could see through them. I could see the pain, insecurity regarding me, hurt, I could see her hurting that made me gulp.

I’m the worst husband ever. She lowered her eyes, looking at my feet.

“I’m sorry” I said, I don’t know what I’m apologising for. Her eyes snapped up to me immediately.

“We need to go” She gestured to me with her hand without replying to my apology and walked towards the entrance. I followed her. I don’t know how to make her feel okay.

She was just two feet away but it feels like she was two miles away, too far to even hear me. She can’t hear me? My heartbeat started increasing the speed at the thought. I can’t lose her too, I already lost someone and I won’t be alive if I can’t save Nandini too.

Calm down Manik. Calm down. I walked a bit faster and grabbed her arm. She flinched and looked at me, halting her steps.

“Be with me, you’ll get hurt” I muttered, wrapping my left hand around her shoulder keeping her close to me. She took a deep breath before walking again.

My heart slowly started to calm down after getting assured that she is with me. She shifted a bit closer as the guards opened the main door making me smile.

We walked to the car but she didn’t let me drive this time either. She unlocked the car and we settled inside. My eyes fell on her sandals as she removed them and saw a red stain. Blood.

“Nandini your feet” My voice sounded louder than I intended it to be. Her eyes went to her sandals too and she snapped her head at me, looking at me with wide eyes.

I realised she knows that. I got down from the car, closing the door behind me with a bang and walked to her. I opened the driver’s door and knelt in front of her.

“Show me,” I said. She didn’t budge.

“Don’t make me repeat Nandini” I gritted my teeth. She sighed and kept her feet out, making sure it wouldn't touch me.

I let out a huff before grabbing her ankle and kept it on my thigh.

“Manik, you can’t touch my feet, that’s wrong” She shrieked, trying to pull away her feet but I held it in place.

“That’s jack shit, now shut up” I glared at her as she was wriggling her foot.

“No, you are my husband, you can’t touch my feet” She said, her voice filled with stubbornness. I can’t believe her.

“If you don’t stop moving your feet, you won’t like the consequences” I uttered, my voice dropped dead serious. She stilled in her place, stopped moving her feet.

I lowered my head and looked at her bare foot slowly, turning it to the side so that I could see what happened. I gasped. There were almost six to seven band aids, blood oozing out of three.

My heart filled with rage as she hissed when I tried to touch it. How long is she bearing this wound? I let out a breath and closed my eyes.

Calm down Manik. You can’t yell at her. She’s hurt already. I carefully stood up and gestured to her to come out with my hand.

She looked shit scared at my silence, her eyes filled with fear. I hated that she was scared of me but seeing her hurt is making me see red.

She got down after wearing her sandals carefully and closed the door behind her, her head down as if I’d hurt her if she looked at me.

I never wanted my wife to fear me no matter what. I hate it. She definitely thinks that I’m a monster.

I bent down before snaking my arms around her shoulder and knees before picking her up in my hands in bridal style.

“Manik” She squealed, wrapping her hands around my shoulder to balance herself.

“Put me down, what are you doing? Manik your hand is hurt, you’ll bleed again” She kept blabbering as I walked to the other side of the car.

“Open the door” I ordered. She looked at me confused. I gestured to the passenger seat door with my eyes and she did it after a moment.

I adjusted her in the passenger seat and kept the seat belt on her. I can’t do first aid with my hand hurt so we have to wait until we reach home. No way in the hell I’m letting her touch another male.

I jogged to the driver’s side and sat inside. She tried to protest but my glare shut her up. Better.

And a silent ride towards Malhotra mansion started, filled with pain and anger of my wife and mine.