Evermore

𝑻𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚

-Diana's POV-

I stand outside the church looking up at the big cross, the sun shines even though it's cold. It doesn't stop the sun from burning my eyes but I keep my eyes on the cross, seeing how long I can take the pain for...

"Do you want to go inside or do you need a second?" I hear Natalie behind me, almost a whisper that's soft...It's not her normal voice, she's being...gentle and it's uncomfortable.

I drag my eyes away from the sky and to the floor as I squeeze my eyes shut, the tears falling as my eyes burn.

"You can go inside, I don't need a bodyguard." I say and she doesn't move past me, I see her shadow reflecting on the floor. Her hand goes to her face.

"I'm your fiancée, not a bodyguard—"

"I don't need you clung to me, Natalie."

"I'm making sure you are alright, dar—"

"Can you just stop? It's my best friends funeral—"

"I understand that and I'm trying—"

"Diana, I'm so sorry!" I hear a familiar voice, an Australian accent, I look to see Maya walking over to me in a hurry as her heels clack against the concrete.

"Maya, hi." I say before she wraps her arms around me quickly, I freeze.

"I'm so glad you survived, if I had lost the both of you I might have lost myself." She kisses the side of my head, I just stay still.

I've gotten lots of messages...too many to count, half from people I don't even know. Telling me they are glad I survived too, that I'm so strong and that they are there for me if I need to talk.

Why would I want to speak to complete strangers? Or just people I barely know?

They've all posted things about Charlie, 'my best friend' , 'Love you so much' or 'gone but never forgotten'....Half of those people didn't know his birthday—I mean most didn't even know him in general.

One of his ex boyfriends who cheated on him even posted something...saying he always loved him...he broke Charlie's heart, Charlie loved him so much and he cheated on him. That's not love.

Maya pulls back and I look away as she keeps talking to me, I don't listen, my thoughts are louder than her voice or maybe they're just blocking her out.

It's been five days, five days of this feeling...which is...nothing but also a lot. It hasn't hit me but I do know—I'm aware that he's gone...I'm just waiting. It feels like I am at least..

I feel like I'm waiting for him to call, text or barge into the house shouting about how much he hates men—or shouting about something ridiculous that would make my day to hear about.

Kai.

He never got to tell him. Charlie never got to ask him to he his boyfriend or tell him that he loved him, he was so excited. Charlie finally found his soulmate and he didn't have enough time to tell him about his feelings.

I still see it. His brown eyes twinkling as he spoke about Kai, telling me he thinks he's in love. The best feeling a person can experience in my opinion, true love.

I also still see the fear in his eyes when that car was coming towards us, my shouting while his mind most likely raced to find a solution to save us both. He saved me so many times.

He always told me he would take a bullet for me, that he would die for me. I didn't know he actually meant it until he proved it.

These past few days have just been quiet but so loud at times, I feel lost and honestly heartbroken. I just want one more hug, one more time I want to hear him call me 'chicken' with a squeeze of his hand before we both start talking about the most random things. I just want my best friend.