Evermore

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆

I walk up the driveway of a familiar house, I fix my jumper while my heart beats a little too quickly. It hasn't seemed to stop doing that once today.

I reach for the door handle but realise it's not the same as it used to be, I can't just barge in. I lift my hand knocking at the door before I step back, I wipe my nose with the sleeve of my hoodie while I wait for a response.

It's only eight pm but it's still late to be calling to someone's home I guess, especially in the state that I'm in.

I tap my feet against the floor. I shouldn't be here—I turn to walk away back to my car before I hear the door unlocking.

I turn back meeting Cindys eye, the exact same eyes Charlie had, hazel eyes that were always more brown than green but they looked a beautiful golden brown colour in the sun. I was always jealous of how beautiful his eyes were while he complained about how it's a common eye colour.

"Diana." She says, she's not crying—at all, I wasn't expecting her to be. She doesn't even look upset—she just looks...exhausted maybe.

"Hi, Cindy." My voice breaks a little and she opens her arms offering the smallest smile. I walk to her quickly, she wraps her arms around me and I just break down immediately.

I wrap my arms around her tighter, I shouldn't be here, dumping my sadness onto her but there's just one spot in this house that always made me feel safe. Where Charlie would force me to stay if I felt like shit, where we would cuddle up and gossip with each other—laugh about the stupidest things to the point we both were wheezing telling one another to stop because our belly's hurt so much.

"I'm sorry." I whisper and she rubs my back.

"I know, I am too." She says.

✺

Awhile later I sit at the kitchen table with Cindy, she sets down a cup of hot chocolate in front of me with whipped cream and extra marshmallows, like usual when I would come for sleepovers. Me and Charlie would jokingly argue with her about never putting enough marshmallows.

"Enough marshmallows?" She asks and I smile at her nodding, she sits at the top of the table, I sit to her right, leaving the other four chairs beneath the table empty.

I calmed down from my crying and she invited me inside, I apologised too many times to the point she told me to stop that I have done nothing wrong.

She takes a small sip of her tea, probably one of those herbal teas Charlie used to make fun of her for.

"It's so quiet." I say, I've never came to this house and had it be silent. It used to be much..brighter too.

"It is. It has been since he passed. It's like the spirit of our home has been taken with him, I suppose it has." She sits back and I lift the mug to my lips taking a sip of hot chocolate as I get some whipped cream around my mouth. I set the mug down wiping my mouth with my sleeve.

"Cindy." I say looking to her and she looks back at me. It feels like I'm looking at him and all I want to do is grab her and start crying because of it.

"Hm?" She hums.

"I'm sorry about the funeral, I never apologised and even though I said the truth—I'm still sorry. It was an emotional day for everyone and my own sadness made it worse." I say and her eyes go to the table.

"He would have laughed and cheered you on, Diana. He loved drama, I can't be mad because of it when it's something he would have wanted. A strange want but he was always my strange little boy." She laughs a little, it doesn't reach her eyes though. Nothing seems to anymore, although it's like looking into Charlie's eyes when looking at her—it also feels like it's Charlie without his spark.