chapter thirty-nine

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'A form of love, even through pain'

-The Pain In Love-


Jungkook can only sit on the edge of his bed with guilty eyes as Jimin cries into a pillow. The boy refuses to look at him, facing his back towards Jungkook as his small shoulders shake in silent sobs.

Jungkook had tried to comfort him, but that night when the raven came in their dorm from a meeting, all Jimin could see was that he was empty handed.

'Trust me.' He had said, and like a hopeful boy in love Jimin did just that. He had put his trust into Jungkook, and Jungkook had failed him.

The moment the general walked in Jimin searched his frame with worried eyes, immediately looking for the fluffy orange cat he held so dearly. However, after seeing Jungkook's expression he started sobbing, and over an hour later he still was, refusing to let Jungkook touch him as he curled into a ball and mourned the cat he'd held onto for so many years.

"Sweetheart.." Jungkook whispers, hesitantly reaching a hand out to place on the boys shoulder. He'd be lying if he said it didn't sting when Jimin chooses to immediately flinch at the contact, curling into himself more as if the touch had only brought him more pain.

Jimin had always loved when Jungkook touched him, and yet now all he could feel was the pain of knowing those same hands had taken one of the things he'd cherished most.

He knew the man was only following orders, protecting Jimin like he always did. And yet the thought of Jungkook- the man his heart had started to beat for, killing his cat was the one thing Jimin didn't think he could handle.

Jungkook wouldn't do that to him..

"Y-You said you wouldn't." The boy sobs after a moment, voice breaking as he hiccups into the blanket beneath him.

Jungkook can only stare in pure guilt, for the first time in a long time feeling so horrible he thought he might throw up. The last time he felt that way was when he made Jimin cut himself, and that day alone was something that still ate him up inside.

He promised he wouldn't cause the boy any more pain, and yet now he'd inflicted so much that Jimin couldn't even bare to look at him.

Jungkook knew he had deserved that from the beginning though..

"Jimin just.. let me explain." The man pleads, practically begging the boy to let him explain himself so that he could take away some of the pain.

So that Jimin wouldn't hate him..

"I-I don't want to hear about it Jungkook, please.." Jimin says weakly, sniffling as his eyes practically swell shut from crying so much. Jungkook finds himself wanting to say it anyway, explain himself so that Jimin can understand and be able to look him in the eye, but instead he only sits there, deciding he'll say it when Jimin's ready to listen.

He owed the boy that much..

Jungkook understood that Jimin probably couldn't handle anything he said right now, especially with how complicated it was. So instead Jungkook pushes the guilt down his throat, and rounds the bed so he can say what he needs to tell Jimin in this moment.

The timing was horrible, Jungkook knew that, but in their meeting earlier agent Sanders had told him there were no exceptions for any trainee..

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