My Love Mine All Mine

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I'm a yearning sad bitch, therefore you all must suffer the consequences !!

jkjk

Title is a song from Mitski's latest album, it also inspired this little drabble

Enjoy!

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He couldn't sleep.

How could he? When your dozing form pressed into his chest so wonderfully, the moonlight hitting the high points of your face so beautifully. Why would we sleep? When he could spend all these hours unabashedly admiring you.

Loki deeply sighed, now suddenly reminded how unworthy he felt. Unworthy of your affections, of your love, of your touch, of your time. He didn't deserve such a gorgeous creature to lay peacefully and safely in his arms.

Like all the other times in his life, he thought he was meant to suffer for eternity. From the wary looks the public gave him, to the scraps of praise and honor handed to him after Thor. He didn't thinking for a moment that such a wonderful thing could happen to him.

Yet, here you were.

Completely unafraid of the ridicule you faced because you had chosen him to be your partner. You didn't care for people's judgements, you only cared for him.

It was terrifying to Loki, to say the least.

When a good thing lands in your lap after decades of rotten treatment, you begin to doubt it. Think it's some sort of sick trick to punish you further. Give you hope only to take it away.

As Loki gently brushed a stray hair from your face, looking at peace and content with the company you chose to keep, he continuously prayed that, if indeed, this was a trick, he hoped it may never be revealed in the end. That he would wither away first before knowing the jig was up.

You shifted in his arms, snuggling your face deeper into the crook of his neck.

Loki wanted to scream.

In that moment, he was cruelly reminded of all the things he was deprived of. He was given little to no love or care from his father, making his mother, Frigga, work twice as hard to show him that he was enough.

To this day, the Asgardian queen was unsure if her work was enough.

Loki didn't have the loyalty of his people, only having their fear and distrust. Nothing belonged to him, nothing really.

But he had things to give. He had his love.

It was sacred, something to be spared. Something to only be given to the most worthy.

He had so little of it— love. 

He was afraid that keeping you around with such little love in his heart wouldn't be enough. Yet, by the prayers he raised to the Norns, it was enough.

He knew it was enough by the way you held his face between your hands. The way you kissed his nose as a little goodbye. The way you squeezed his hand every time you felt his anxiety.

Heavens, Loki needed to sleep.

He needed strength and he needed energy if he was going to go to Vanaheim to settle fights with Thor.

Loki dreaded it.

"My love, you need to sleep." You grumbled in his arms. Worry immediately shooting through Loki. Did his thoughts somehow wake you? Was he thinking too loud?

"I know, my dear. I know." He bent down to kiss your temple.

"Loki, I worry for you." You spoke so softly, it tore his heart in every grotesque way. But, he welcomed it. He embraced the longing, the love, and the fear that came with loving and caring for someone.

He let out a breathy chuckle. "You always do, my love."

"Still, I haven't had my fill. Let me worry for you one more time."

"I'll be alright." He lied.

You sighed deeply into his neck. He knew you saw right through him, through his pathetic little facade.

You always have.

It's what allowed you to give him the love he so desperately needed. Every time he would lash out in self-loathing, you would stick closer to him, regardless if he would use your words against you. You knew he didn't mean any of the words he'd say.

He was just protecting himself from a world of hurt and uncertainty. He was scared to be attached. He didn't want to cling onto such hope only for it to be ripped away from him in a matter of seconds. Loki was absolutely terrified at the notion of true care.

You couldn't have possibly blamed him for that.

Now, he was terrified of worrying you. He didn't see himself fit to run in your mind 24/7.

"Alright." You say gently, stroking circular patterns on his back with your arm that wrapped around his torso. His body had been smooth, unmarred by scars. A complete opposite to what fate his heart was handed. It had been bruised, scratched, thrown against walls, bleeding beyond measure. Until you arrived to patch it all up.

"I love you, Loki." You whispered. "Whatever happens in Vanaheim, just know that I'm proud of you and I care for you."

Loki fought a deprecating chuckle that threatens to release itself from his throat. You didn't deserve his sarcasm, especially not tonight. Not when you're trying to drill into his heart and mind that he was worthy of love.

The love he choose to give.

The love he had so little of.

The love that was all his.

Not Odin's. Not Thor's. Just his.

"I love you too." He had whispered, his chest aching.

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Hey y'all!

I know it wouldn't be that big of a deal, given that I'm actually updating more than once a week, but I'm gonna be breaking that cycle FOR NOW.

It is Midterms season so please bear with me.

I think this will be the last update in like a week?

Don't fret though, I'll come back with more than enough prompts and fics. Especially now that we have new Loki content!

Anyways, see y'all in about a week or so!

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