A Ballad of Vicious Mockery

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Another Dungeons & Dragons AU BECAUSE IM OBSESSED AND A MASSIVE NERD!!

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Features "I Can See You" by Taylor Swift

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You're a Bard, Loki is a Rogue (Arcane Trickster), Thor & Volstagg are Barbarians, and Sif, Hogun, and Fandral are Fighters.

This took so much longer than anticipated. 10k words...

Anyways,

Hope you enjoy!

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You had to fight rolling your eyes at the group of fighters and barbarians in front of you. Their questions about your abilities were becoming more and more annoying the stupider they came out of their mouths.

Sif, the apparent voice of reason, sat quietly and let her compatriots continue this hellish interview. You glanced at her multiple times, hoping to get some sort of reprieve from the oafs, but she merely shrugged at you and mumbled a soft apology on behalf of their antics.

The rogue of their party sat idly as well, particularly taking delight in your annoyance. When you would say a sarcastic remark that would go over the barbarians' heads, he would snicker, only fuelling your annoyance even more.

"I don't know," says Volstagg, running his hand through his bright orange beard in thought. "I was hoping for a sorcerer or a wizard, at least."

You couldn't resist anymore. You rolled your eyes with a frustrated groan. "It's not like anybody else is going to take you up on your offer. None of these fools know the importance of the item you seek. Also, I'm the only one who stayed when you guys mentioned Mind Flayers."

Fandral pursed his lips. "How exactly are you going to help us though? Wack some fiend with your lute? Perhaps, sing it to sleep?" He laughed loudly, Volstagg and Hogun following. But, they soon stopped when you returned their glee with a terrifying glare.

You smirked and turned to Fandral. "Your hairline recedes as quickly as you last in bed." Your eyes turned a bright yellow as the air begins to swirl with your magic.

Vicious Mockery, that was your favorite thing to cast. It left your insulted subject discombobulated and easy to stab afterwards. Not to mention the psychic damage it cost.

Most of the time, their self-esteem was never the same.

As your words hit Fandral plainly in the skull, he gets pushed back in his chair. He harshly squinted his eyes as the pain behind his eyelids seared into his brain. He yelped in pain.

"What did you do to him?!" Thor asked in concern.

"I insulted him."

"No," Thor insisted. "What did you do to him?"

Loki, their rogue, smirked from behind them, twiddling with a dagger in his hands. "Vicious Mockery, brother." He answered for you. "Quite the impressive kind, might I add." Loki gestures at Fandral who was doubled over on the table.

"Finally," you breathe in relief. "Someone with brains!"

Thor winced, preparing for the psychic blow.

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