Future me problems

Nightmare 3

I woke up in a bad mood. What an amazing way to start the day...not.

Anyway what could cause me to be in a foul mood at such a beautiful morning, well a lot of things, like the weather, it's pouring cats and dogs out there, I have practice in 2 hours and then I have to sit in a meeting going over game plan which takes too long in my opinion, I mean how am I expected to sit still AND listen to someone talk for ages? And to top it all off and definitely my favorite part, nightmares. Yeah I really enjoy them they make me sleep so much better.

Growing up in an abusive household was so *fun* it helped add a little spice to my life and I loved it. My family has always had their fair share of problems and it shows.

My dad had a good childhood and his parents were very caring and supportive but somehow at the age of 6 he started smoking then at 11 he tried weed and after that it just spiraled out of control.

My mom on the other hand was raised by two alcoholics, one was physically abusive and the other was mentally abusive. Some nights her mom would wake her up in the middle of the night to flee the house and get away from her dad. To no one's surprise my mom began to use alcohol to cope with her trauma and became an alcoholic.

My brother and I both had shitty childhoods, even though I'm younger I always tried to protect him, my mom wasn't that bad just verbally abusive to my brother but never laid a hand on him, I however got slapped regularly and was often reminded that I was a problem. I always told myself I deserved it. I mean I was referred to as the "Devil child "

My dad was much worse and I often found my mom bruised and crying in the bathroom, my brother usually locked his door but when my dad got to him I was always there to get him away by hitting or screaming at my dad to get his attention. Unfortunately that meant I got a beating for the both of us but I rather it be me than him.

That was the only time we got along which is messed up, getting along because your dad is beating you, but hey it was a great way to bond 10/10 would recommend.

When I say or think things like that, I can understand why people see me as messed up. I really need to learn how to take things seriously and probably/definitely need to tone down the sarcasm, but that's a problem for future me. Anyways, got a little sidetracked.

But now back to my amazing nightmares which are really just memories. My all time favorite has to be the one I get most nights

⚠️Flashback-
I'm on my way home from practice, it's currently 8:30pm and I'm about 10 minutes away from home.

It's really dark outside so I know I have to hurry to get home before my dad is done with work, he usually doesn't care what time I get home but the past few days him and my mom have been fighting.

I get home and see that my mom is passed out on the couch so I make sure she's okay before going to my room. As I'm walking past the bathroom the door opens and out comes my dear dad.

Instantly noticing that he's high on something I try to walk around him, but as soon as I move he grabs my arm and drags me to laundry room.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN" he shouts and before I can answer the first slap comes, right across my face.

"I was at practice and it ran a little late" I say calmly, careful not to anger him more.

"YOU DON'T HAVE PRACTICE ON SUNDAYS, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LYING TO ME, DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?" he paused his little rant to punch me in the stomach before continuing "YOU'RE MORE USELESS THAN YOUR MOTHER, I SHOULD'VE MADE HER ABORT YOU. YOU WILL NEVER BE LOVED BY ANYONE YOU'RE A GOD DAMN FREAK AND A LITTLE SLUT" after he finished he kept punching me, kicking me and slapping me. I know there's no point in screaming or crying, no one cares.