Future me problems

Idiot 46

"LOVE" I shout out from our bedroom.

I can't find my bloody suitcase and I desperately need it since it has all of my England gear in it.

And I mean all of it...

"Yeah" El says as she walks into our room.

"I can't find my suitcase anywhere" I say as I frantically look around the room.

I came home yesterday after we played Portugal the other day and the only thing I need to take with me to the World Cup is lost.

"Sara" El gently says as she walks over to me "Relax please" I let out a sigh and place my hands on her stomach which makes me grin widely.

Her stomach is getting noticeably bigger and we decided that we'll find out the gender of the baby when I get back from the tournament.

She's almost 4 months along.

Or as the doctor likes to say, '16 weeks'.

How the fuck am I supposed to know how long 16 weeks are?

Why say weeks instead of months, it's honestly just confusing.

And don't get me started on how people say 'my baby is 14 months old'

Like shut the fuck up bitch, the little parasite is 1 years old.

If you couldn't tell. The doctor and I have a conflicting relationship...

"I'm sorry" I say and give her a kiss "Are you sure you'll be okay while I'm away" I ask her since she won't be coming to Australia until the 20th of July which is when it starts.

"I'll be fine. I promise" she chuckles and lays her head on my chest "Plus Leah will be staying with Harry and I, so stop worrying. I'll tell you if something happens, which it won't, and it's only 15 days" she says.

"I'll try. But promise me you'll call everyday and let Leah know if something's wrong" I say.

"My god Sara. Stop worrying so much. Nothing's going to happen and yes, I promise to call every single bloody day, just like I've done every other time you've been away" she pulls away from me "And you're suitcase is under the fucking bed" she mutters something under her breath before walking out of the room.

Her mood is all over the place and sometimes it scares me...

Last night she woke and screamed at me about something I had apparently said in her dream and it took me an hour to calm her down.

She didn't even tell me what I said...

Her morning sickness is getting better though so at least that's good. Although she's started sending me to the store to buy grapes which I then have to put in the freezer and I've also had to switch deodorants because the smell makes her sick.

I get my suitcase from under the bed and take it downstairs. El is sat on the sofa with Harry, who's asleep, and she's watching a show. I take a seat next to her, pulling her into a side hug and kiss her forehead.

"You're an asshole" she informs me, which she regularly tells me and I've learned that it's best to just agree with her.

"I know love" I say and she puts her head on my shoulder. I hear her sniffle so I look at her and see that she's crying "Come here" I say and pull her onto my lap "I love you and I'm sorry" I don't know what I'm apologizing for but I don't know what else I should say.

"It's not you, it's these bloody hormones" she whispers out. She moves her hand onto her stomach and strokes it "But I love you too...even though this is your fault" she says, making me laugh.