Those Blue Eyes

Lovers into strangers

'Are you waiting here?' I ask Ravi before I step out off the car 'Someone needs to drive you to the airport or can you teleport?' He jokes which makes me smile, its one of the things I appreciate the most about Ravi, how he can always make me smile even if I dont feel like it. 'I dont want to be a burden, I can just take a cab' 'No its fine, I will drive you' He says and I give him a thankfull smile in return before leaving the car and walking to the front door. I stand there looking at the keys in my hand, debating if I should use them or the doorbell, I decide that the doorbell would be more suiting in this situation. Y/n deep breath, here it goes. I push the bell and wait for the door to be opened, its swings open but not by the person I expected to see.
'Y/n what are you doing here?' Amanda asks suprised by my appearence. Great Leah her mum, couldn't go any better. I directly get more nervous then I already was 'I umm I just need to grab some stuff' I explain playing with the keys in my hand, she nods and lets me in. 'Is she upstairs?' 'No she hasn't been anywhere else then the couch' I nod and go upstairs while the remorse grows in my stomach.
I grab a suitcase from underneath the bed and start taking out my clothes from the closet and putting them into the suitcase, I pack underwear, shirts, pants and hoodies. I didn't know what caused it but suddenly I felt dizzy, nauseous and unwell all at once, I needed to sit down for a moment. I sit on the edge of the bed and let myself fall backwards looking up at the ceiling, I feel a warm tear leave my eye and run over the side of my face before others follow soon after. Damn what have I done? How could I ruin everything so hard, this was the first time everything went so great. I was in love, fuck I am still in love. I stare at the ceiling a bit longer, taking in the scent of Leah and I's mixed perfume, the smell of home which is no longer my home. I gather myself again and continue with packing another suitcase, eventually enough clothes are packed for a few months. I put the important things such as my macbook, toiletries and chargers into a bagpack. I look at the bed Leah and I used to share one more time, one more time all the memories replay in my head, the sleepless nights, the sex, the cuddles, the cries, the moans, the laughs, the kisses, everything and then I close the door. I bring the suitcases downstairs and put them down in the hall, I got everything right? Shit my passport.. Fuck it lays in the livingroom. I look down as I enter the livingroom in silence, I search the cabinet but I can't find my passport. 'What are you doing?' Amanda asks confused by my actions 'Looking for my passport, I thought I put it here' I say as I look around in the room 'TV cabinet' Leah says brief, voice hoarse. I open the TV cabinet and indeed there they both lay, her UK passport and my Australian passport, I grab mine 'Thanks Le..ah Leah' I enhance myself quickly. Smooth y/n, really smooth. She just looks at me without any emotion as I look at her full of emotion but mostly regret, 'I should leave you two for a moment' Amanda says noticing the tension between us, Leah gives her mum a don't leave me look but Amanda ignores it. We don't say anything, I stand there awkward as Leah sits curled up on the couch both our eyes looking everywhere but at eachother, I need to speak up first. 'Can I fix us?' I ask hope clearly noticeable in my voice, Leah scoffs 'If you had a timemachine to go back in time and stop yourself from ever fucking that girl then maybe but if you don't then no, there is no fixing us' Leah says looking straight at me, still no emotion. It is hard not being able to hug her, make her feel safe and loved, tell her everything will be alright because we both know it won't for atleast a while. It is hard to stand here knowing I am the reason behind her pain. The silence returns but this time we don't break eye contact, but it isn't the same as it used to be, maybe it will never be? Stop thinking like that, we will get through this eventually. Leah her eyes are empty, she looks at me like I am a stranger to her, a nobody. 'Are you leaving Arsenal?' Leah asks eventually, I nod which causes Leah to relax a little and sigh in relieve, like a weight has been lifted of her shoulders. 'Where are you going?' She asks 'Barcalona' I answer softly 'Barcalona?' She asks suprised raising her eyebrows, I nod again 'They wanted me and it is a good club, I will probably learn a lot" I explain 'And you can fuck Ona again' Leah adds. What the actual fuck? Where does this come from. 'What no!?' I say hurt she thinks about me like that 'Leah I.. that is absolutly not the reason for me to go there, Ona and I happend in the past and will not happen again' I say as I step closer but directly stop as I notice Leah her reaction 'Look Le, I still lo-' But Leah cuts me off 'Dont Le me y/n' Leah says raising her voice 'And don't fucking tell me you love me now because you have no right to anymore' She raises her voice again 'I can't live without you Leah, it hurts my heart thinking about it' I say wanting to hold, to feel her so bad 'It hurt your heart?' Leah says in disbelieve 'What about mine huh y/n? What about fucking mine? YOU DIDN'T CARE ABOUT  ME' Leah begins shouting 'Please Leah..' But she is first 'I SHOULD HAVE LISTEND WHEN EVERYONE TOLD ME NOT TO DATE A CHEATER, you are dead to me' She says that last part soft, which makes me believe she didn't mean it. Right? She would never say that and mean it. Amanda walks back into the room, I bite the inside of my cheek holding back the tears forming in my eyes 'Your right and it is my fault. But just know I will regret it forever' I say but Leah has stopped listening to me. I leave the room and Amanda follows me 'I know you regret this, I do. But Leah isn't going to forgive and forget this anytime soon' Amanda says opening the door so I can carry out the suitcases 'I don't expect her to but I just hope she find happiness again, even if that is without me' Amanda grows a small smile and whises me the best before closing the door behind me.