Chapter 66

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3 days of overtime took its toll on me. By Friday afternoon, I felt like a walking zombie. I didn't even know how I got home but I did. I needed to feel better by tomorrow since we were doing our Valentine's Day weekend. I will be back to work Wednesday. 

As soon as I walked in, I kicked my shoes off and went straight to the couch after getting something to drink. Was the job I had not worth it anymore? I had studied so hard in college to be where I was but I was burnt out. I was too young to feel like this. 

As I sat with my iced tea on the couch slumped, the want ads I had been looking at before work were sitting with my highlighter. I had honestly wanted a fresh start like Violet got. I needed something new.

I reached to look at it. I had seen a position in Riverside for a computer programmer for one of IBM's offices. But, I didn't want to stay in the job I had. I wanted to expand my horizons. But, for the time being, I guess I had no other experience except waiting tables in college. 

I sighed and put the paper back down. I glanced at the clock. It was a little before 5. And boy was glad I had put a roast to cook in the crock pot this morning so I didn't have to worry about dinner.

I closed my eyes and rested them as the week's work settled into my bones. I was beyond exhausted.

The next thing I remembered was waking up to a finger swiping across my forehead. I fluttered my eyes open and Andy was staring down at me.

"I'm sorry I woke you, darling," he commented.

"No no it's okay I should be awake right now anyhow," I told him half-asleep still.

"I didn't know you would be asleep when I came over," he told me.

"I didn't either," I commented.

He chuckled.

"You don't look well are you okay?" he asked.

"Honestly no. I'm tired. This week kicked my arse," I told him as I sat up from the couch.

As I stretched, I heard my bones popping. I felt older than I was.

"I heard that," he told me.

"Felt good but makes me feel like I'm 100 years old," I remarked.

He felt my forehead. 

"Well, you aren't darling.  I don't think you have a fever but let's go get some food and then we can unwind the whole evening," he told me.

"That sounds like a plan," I told him as we walked to the kitchen.

We sat down after gathering the stuff for dinner. The pot roast and potatoes that had been cooking all day hit the spot.

We ate in silence. Andy looked at me with concern in his eyes. This was the tiredest I had been in over a year since Violet's stay at the Betty Ford.

We said nothing as I did the dishes and he did the drying. Sam was out in the back.

When we got to the bedroom and I prepared to shower, Andy finally spoke.

"You know darling we don't have to drive out tomorrow to the restaurant and hotel," he told me.

I shook my head.

"Oh my god honey no I want us to go. I think a good night's sleep is all I need," I told him.

"I want you to rest and maybe a few days away will help too then," he told me with a smile.

"I think a reset weekend is much needed. I haven't had a night away since New York," I told him.

"That's very true darling. Now hurry up so we can go sit in the recliner," he told me as he shooed me away to shower.

I chuckled as I disappeared to get ready for bed.

The plan was to drive to El Segundo mid-morning and do some things before checking into the hotel at 3. Then, at 6 we'd go eat at that restaurant he had made plans for.

Soon, we both were comfortable in our pajamas and sitting in the recliner while the TV illuminated the living room.

It was barely after 9.

I sighed as we got comfortable in the chair.

"I don't think anything could be so perfect but this feels like it," he told me as we sat together.

"I know what you mean," I told him as I flipped the channel to something just to provide background noise.

"Also darling, I noticed the want ads on the table. Did you find a new job?" he asked me.

"Not yet. I'm not gonna lie I am looking and wanting to apply. I feel stuck where I am at," I told him.

"How long have you been there?" he asked.

I sighed. I really couldn't remember.

"I know it was my second job after graduating college. So probably 4 or so years?" I replied.

"Dang that's quite a while darling," he told me as he adjusted the blanket across our lap.

"Yeah I mean it's pretty much been my "grown-up" job since I graduated 5 years ago," I told him.

"Well everyone has to have a fresh start darling. Maybe this is your time," he told me.

"Ever since Violet left, I've been questioning things. Like for a good reason not bad. I stayed here because of her. Did I want to move? Did I just need a new job?" I contemplated out loud.

"Sometimes you just got to ask the universe and it will show you darling. Like me, I know that anytime I'm feeling something, I always know the cause of the things I put out to the universe," he told me.

He was right. It was comforting knowing I didn't have to think or talk to myself about certain things.

"I think that's the most comforting thing I've heard in a while. My inner thoughts have been confusing me," I openly admitted to him.

I was about to be 27 years old and yet here I was lost in every way except love for once.

"You can always talk to me. You don't carry any sort of burdens or worries alone. A year ago we decided that we are walking through this life together," he told me.

I leaned over to kiss him. He was reassuring me with words so I knew I needed to reassure him with a kiss or two.

"But let's not worry about this tonight. We got our first Valentine's Day together to think about," he told me after we separated.

"Good point. Everything will come in time," I told him.

"Exactly darling," he replied to me.

A weekend full of love to be encountered. 

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