Trouble just finds me...

My best friend 19

We just landed in Ireland and I'm the first one off the plane, I only have carry on so I don't have to worry about getting my bag and right now I don't care about anything other than getting to AJ.

"TJ wait up" Leah says as she catches up with me.

"Hurry up then, I need to get to the bloody hospital before finding that whore and killing him" I mumble out the last part as I try to rush through the airport but Leah grabs my hand.

"Oi, I know you're worried but we need to catch a cab and it won't happen any faster if you're freaking out" she says as she pulls me into a hug and waves down a cab.

Leah tells the driver the name of the hospital and I tell him to get there as fast as he possibly can.

"What am I supposed to do without her Leah, she's my rock and I can't do this without her here" this is probably the most I've said since the phone call.

"Don't lose hope honey, we don't know anything right now" Leah says and I nod before going quiet again.

The driver pulls up to the hospital and I give him some money before running into the hospital and straight to the reception.

"I'm here for Avery James" I say as the lady looks up at me and I realise that I know her.

"TJ hon, take a seat for me" she says with a sad smile and walks around the desk just as Leah comes in.

This can't be fucking happening...

"She's dead isn't she" I say without any emotion and she looks at me with that same fucking look.

"Take a seat please" she says and I shake my head.

"She's fucking dead...JUST FUCKING TELL ME" I yell at her before calming down "Can you just get it over with so I can go and see her" I say in a quiet voice and look down.

"We couldn't safe her hon, we tried absolutely everything but she was already gone when she arrived here" she says in a sad tone and I can see tears falling from her eyes.

"Can I see her" I ask and she nods before leading me to her room.

When I open the door my breath hitches in my throat as the tears begin to fall.

She looks so peaceful, it's like she's just sleeping but she isn't...

She's dead.

She's fucking dead because of an asshole who should've been arrested a long time ago. She left me alone because of that asshole.

"Why couldn't you just fucking wait you bastard" I ask as I walk over to her and take her hand "You didn't even give me 8 hours, why couldn't you at least let me hug you one more time or let me go with you" I ask her as I hold her hand and lay my head on her chest.

"I love you so fucking much AJ, I don't think I can do this without you being by my side" I start sobbing into her chest "You're my best friend, my rock, my fucking ride or die and you left me" I'm in absolute peaces, I can't believe she's gone, she's my everything and she knows me more than anyone.

"I know I shouldn't blame myself but I do, I should've been here, I should've made sure you were safe, I shouldn't have left you, I didn't want to leave you and you're a bloody bastard for making me. I love you, you idiot and you weren't supposed to leave first, we were supposed to have a big party for my 16th birthday in a few months" I can't believe she's gone.

I don't want to be here without her.

"But I forgive you, I understand that you had to go and I promise to do you proud for the rest of my time here" I say before kissing her forehead and cheek "I'll see you soon my wanker, give em hell up there until I arrive to do it with you" I say before kissing her forehead one last time and shutting my emotions down as I walk past Leah and out of the hospital.