Hello again, it feels better to know that you might be reading everything. Also, it feels betters now that I know you are okay. I really miss you and think about you non stop. I understand how hard the situation is and that is why I am being so patient. I would feel so much better if you are by my side and reassuring me every now and then. I still wonder what is my role in your life, why did we talk in first place? Why did we become close? Was it just because I wanted you? Or because God wanted us to meet because we will be a lesson in each other's lives. But, what kind of lesson? Time is the only way to have an answer. I think that getting to know you has made me a better person, and most importantly a strong person. I am confused because of my mixed reactions, but definitely happy because I am trying to see the positive sides only. I have a feeling that this will pass and we will be discussing everything in the future as a simple memory. I am happy because you are approaching and sharing your thoughts with me, it means you are still thinking about me and I am in important person in your life. I wonder if you never had any problems, would you still tell me it is not the right time for feeling? Would you treat me differently? Would you stay by my side forever? Or would you find another excuse to stay away? Honestly, the thought of you with another person makes me angry and jealous. I do not want a long time to pass and then see you with someone else. I think I deserved to be with you and you deserved to be with me; despite everything. Nowadays my way of thinking has changed because I finally understood why it is hard for us to be together. Is not that what you wanted? Anyway, I am selfish enough to want you mine even if it is wrong or impossible to be together. I just cannot let you go no matter what happens. Is this love or obsession? I feel guilty when I think of moving on and I remember you in every single moment as if the universe is reminding me to stay loyal for you. I am well aware of our differences and the impossibility of being together but my mind cannot accept such a truth. I wish that someday you would be able to confess everything you have felt for me without fear or caution. Life is too short to be wasted on avoiding feelings, it is certainly not wrong to love! I need you to think straight but not just about us. I need you to consider every aspect of your life and to take into consideration that every action has a reaction. Please do not waste your time doing something that might harm you in the near present or far future. Even if we do not end up together I will be devastated if something were to happen to you. I want to be able to hear and see you achieving your dreams rather than dealing with the consequences of your actions. I wish you would also realize how much I love and appreciate you. I really tried my best to be with you and dreamed of our relationship to be serious. Maybe God has better plans for us and I am trying my best to accept everything as is. Either ways, I will never ever forget you and I will always remember you as someone I truly loved and wanted to be with. Someone who I wanted his presence deeply despite all the hardships in life. I swear you are like a dream. You made most of my dreams come true in such a short time it feels weird now that I feel everything I worked for is slowly falling apart. I really hope that this not our end. I miss and love you so much. Please do not hesitate to reach out and ease my longing for you; I crave your company, feelings, and attention. Do not be cold towards me.
