Who You Love (Katy Perry/John Mayer Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirty-Two: Decaffinated Lust

Katy's POV:

As soon as we returned to Los Angeles, John and I had to continue our lives as if we'd never left. I was thrown into work, and he was constantly at the studio. I sighed, thinking about how it was supposed to be a 'break' from tour.

I knew I'd have to tell my family and friends soon, before it was too late, but I didn't know how. I knew that everyone on my professional side wasn't going to happy, as much as they tried to be. I was right in the middle of the Prismatic World Tour, and only a couple of months ago I announced the South American leg, which would be in October. There was no way I would be able to do it now, not when my due date was in November. I felt completely guilty, and I knew I was letting my fans down. I dreaded having to break the news to them, but I hoped they would understand. Surely they would right?

I felt my hands sweating lightly as I thought about it, and was that was going to mean for my career. I was ecstatic about being a Mom, don't get me wrong... But I still wasn't sure if this was the right time. I pushed it aside and started to focus on my life right now, like the events in Montana never happened. I wanted to ignore the reality of my situation as long as possible.

I finally had a day off of work today, and I hoped that I could see John, though we hadn't really been talking that much recently. He wasn't really answering any of my calls or texts, so I'd given up at this point, though I really missed him.

I pulled myself up off the sofa, unwrapping the blanket around me as I did so. I tied my hair into a messy bun as I walked into the kitchen in search of my phone, finally eyeing it beside my handbag on the counter. I unlocked it, sighing when I saw there were no calls or messages from him. I don't know why, but I felt clingy lately, like I didn't want to be apart from him.

To: John
Hi baby. I miss you... So much. What are you doing today? I love you. X

I sighed again as I sent the message, placing my phone onto the bench. I'd been so bored these past few days, even though I'd been busy doing events and promotional things. I had a costume fitting for the Asia leg of the tour tomorrow, and a studio appointment straight after. I felt exhausted, and all I really wanted was to sleep all day.

I walked over to the pantry, trying to see what I wanted to eat. I'd basically gone off of everything lately, and only ate when I wanted to instead of my usual scheduled meals each day. I was still struggling with nausea, though at least now there was a reason behind it. I pulled out a packet of Hot Tamales, opening them as I walked back to the lounge room. As I was about to sit down, I heard my phone ringing, and rushed back to the kitchen.

It was John. I broke out into a huge smile as I saw his name on the screen, my heart racing like a teenager.

"Hi!" I answered excitedly.

"Hey," He answered, sounding monotone and distant, almost as if he didn't want to be talking right now.

"What's up? I miss you," I said, smiling as I talked, excited to hear his voice again.

"I'm at the studio... Look, I'm going to try and see you, but I'm really busy right now..." He answered, sighing. I wondered what was wrong.

"I can come and see you if you like? I have today off?" I asked, playing with my fingernails.

"No. You'll be too much of a distraction... Anyways, I have to go. I'll talk to you later." He stated, his voice dull and motionless. He couldn't seem less interested in talking to me if he tried.

"A distraction? Is that what you think of me?" I said, definitely offended and slightly starting to feel annoyed.

I heard him sigh again, before he continued to speak. "No, that's not what I meant... I have to go Katy, but I lo-"