Chapter Forty-Three: A Personal Disclosure

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It'd been two weeks since I had that conversation with John. And since then, I had been mentally preparing myself and making sure that the way I would announce it for the world to know, would be the perfect way. John and I had finally come up with an idea, and I was more than excited to finally share what I was so happy about to the world, but most importantly, my fans.

He'd left just before the show I had the next night after we'd been to Kyoto, much to my dismay, though I was incredibly happy he'd flew out from LA to surprise me. It was only under two weeks that I'd had to spend away from him, before we would be reunited again at the conclusion of the tour.

These past two weeks I'd been completely enjoying the tour life and spending time with everyone, my friends, my team, my singers, my dancers, my crew. During the day I would usually go out for breakfast at a cafe in the city I was in, before exploring their landmarks, particularly their art galleries and museums, something that I'd really enjoyed this tour and done on every leg so far.

I'd really enjoyed this leg of the tour. It was incredible experiencing things that I wouldn't have dreamed about otherwise. I was creating memories that I was sure I would tell my children about one day. I wanted them to be proud of me, be proud of a mother who worked so hard to make a name for herself despite the downfalls and things preventing me from doing so. I wanted to raise them to be strong, independent, courageous and inspired. I want them to have that dream life. I was determined to make that a reality.

My priorities had now changed, and I was focusing more on my happiness and wellbeing, rather than being overwhelmed by the craziness of touring. I was successfully managing to stay on top of things, and I truly hadn't felt this purely happy in a long while.

"Hey baby girl!" I heard a voice say, making me spin around from where I'd been standing at the kitchen counter, daydreaming, to look in their direction, though I already knew their voice.

"Hey!" I said excitedly, making my way over to Mia, engulfing her in a hug.

"How're you feeling?!" My best friend exclaimed, gently holding me by my shoulders and examining my face carefully.

"I'm better! Still a little groggy but I'm feeling good today," I replied, referencing the events of last night. I'd been completely fine all day until we were out at a tour dinner, where I suddenly had vertigo and nausea out of what seemed like nowhere, with poor Tamra and Bradford quickly needing to rush me back to my hotel. I'd had my on-tour medic come and examine me, and I was given some aspirin. I just hoped it wouldn't be a reoccurring thing.

"That's good! I always seem to forget you're pregnant and then your little tummy reminds me!" She said, cooing somewhat goofily as she tickled my stomach with her hands, making me roll my eyes.

"Stop! You're making me feel fat," I whined, pouting my lips and 'hiding' my stomach, acting silly like usual.

"Oh shut up. You're the skinniest bitch I know even if you've got another person inside of you," She laughed, her beautiful blonde curls bouncing on her shoulders.

"Whatever, loser. You want a coffee?" I asked, making my way to the kitchen, picking up my mug and pouring the now-cold remains of my coffee and boiling the kettle to prepare myself for another.

"Yeah why not, we've got time. I'm going to take you to the arena earlier so you've got more time to relax there," She said as she sat down on the sofa, wrapping her legs under herself and sliding her phone out of her pocket.

"Thank you. I'm just so nervous, ya know? I mean, it's not that I don't want to do it, because I do. I just think it's crazy that this is happening and that everyone is going to know," I confessed, feeling a little guilty that I was a thirty year old who was, basically, scared of people nearly half my age.

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