Christmas Special

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"Say, Merry Christmas, Mommy!" I heard John say as I was in the final stages of waking up, stretching out my arms and smiling before I'd even opened my eyes.

"Good morning," I said in my groggy morning voice, all raspy and dry as I opened my eyes to be met by the most beautiful sight - something I never tired of...

My fiancé and my baby daughter.

"Hi baby," I whispered, unable to contain the smile on my face as John sat down on the bed beside me, baby Charlotte in his arms. I instantly noted how wide awake she was, her big, sparkling blue eyes on display as she looked up at her surroundings, studying both John and I as we looked down adoringly at our now four-week old baby.

"Merry Christmas, babe," John said as he looked up from where he was studying Charlotte in his arms, to me, leaning in and kissing me softly, making me smile to myself.

"Merry Christmas," I smiled back, gently placing my hand over Charlotte's soft tuft of light brown hair, kissing her forehead, the baby smelling deliciously like talcum powder, which was very quickly becoming one of my favourite things. "It's our first Christmas as a family!"

"I know, it's so crazy," John chuckled as he leant his body against the pillow on the bed head, gently moving as to not disturb the baby too much. "It's all happened so fast... But I wouldn't change it for anything."

"Me either, I'm so happy," I smiled back, meaning every single word of it. I was so happy with everything in my life right now, it was perfect. I wouldn't change it for the world... It was almost as if I was living in a crazy dream, everything being so incredible it was almost like a real-life fantasy.

"And you know what? Hearing that, makes me the happiest," John said back, whispering it into my ear, both the corniness of his words and his hot breath tickling the skin on my neck causing me to break out in a tiny giggle as we laid in bed together, the baby laying oh so silently and content fully as she was wrapped up in a plush pink blanket in her protective father's arms. He suited nothing more than being a dad - and I loved seeing him with Charlotte every single day. He would wake up with her during the night, feed her, change her, bathe her with me - small things which showed how much he truly cared and how devoted he was to being a father. He was so sweet, so protective of the two of us.

Since giving birth to her just over a month ago now, I would say I've had the most wonderful weeks of my entire life. Being a new mom was the scariest, yet most thrilling embarkment of my life. My priorities in life had competely changed the moment I laid eyes on my precious, tiny baby. I knew I wanted to protect her, to be a real mother to her. Not once had I stepped foot outside of our home in Los Angeles since coming home from the hospital - I was simply enjoying new motherhood too much; my career was put on hold.

I wanted to be with her all day, every day - which I was. It was beautiful having the three of us at home, with John running errands when it was required. I didn't have to face paparazzi, the press, the media - it was as if I lived a normal life. I knew I would face them eventually, obviously, I couldn't avoid them forever of course - but for now, I was completely and utterly devoted to being a mother. I loved it, and I honestly think it's the colour in which suits me best.

John and I had flown to Billings, Montana - where his holiday home was located - to spend Christmas with his family. We decided we wanted a traditional Christmas this year, along with the peace and quiet which was typical of this town. I loved coming here, as did John - so we didn't hesitate to invite my side of the family too. It was a huge family reunion of sorts, with everyone staying at different places before meeting up for Christmas lunch and dinner at John's parents home, as they resided here, quite close to John's house which was where we were staying.

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