Who You Love (Katy Perry/John Mayer Fanfiction)

Chapter Forty-Two: A Tokyo Wildfire

I gulped, hard. A large lump had formed in my throat and I felt beads of sweat start to form on my forehead.

"What do you mean?" I managed to say, though it came out as a weak whisper, due to the overpowering sense of nerves that overcame my body.

"I know you know what I'm talking about Katy," He said, sighing as he combed his fingers through his hair roughly. He looked... Disappointed. And it broke my heart to see him that way, almost as if every part of me had shattered.

"Can we talk about this at home? I don't think now is the right time," I whispered almost inaudibly, careful not to create too much noise. I didn't need anyone running in right now.

"When is the right time, Katy? When were you going to tell me?" He said almost sarcastically, raising an eyebrow as he continued to look at me with disgust.

"John, please," I begged, signalling for him to quieten down, silently wishing for him to calm down. I knew this wasn't going to be pretty.

"Fine. I'll wait until we get back to the hotel. But I need an explanation, Katy," He said, coldly. It was like all of the emotion was pushed out of his body. I wasn't used to seeing this John... This John that seemed so hurt and disappointed in me. I felt tears well in my eyes as I looked at him before I turned away, sighing, as I collected my things, wrapping myself in my favourite cashmere sweater before walking towards the door, following John out. I felt like a troublesome adolescent child awaiting punishment from her parents right now.

The walk to the car was silent and full of tension, but nothing compared to the car ride back to the hotel. John and I didn't say a word to one another, though I had a million of them going through my mind. I felt awful... Though I hadn't even done anything wrong. I wondered how he'd found out about the tour dates before I had told him myself. Was it someone on the team? I couldn't think of anything more dreadful, he probably thought I didn't trust him, that I wanted to do this behind his back, that his opinion didn't matter. It couldn't had been further from the truth at all.

I looked over toward him, where he had his head on his hand looking out of the window, his eyes looking distant and glassy. This wasn't the John I knew at all, and that's when I realised I'd truly hurt him. I'd fucked up, real bad. Of all things important in our relationship right now, trust was key, and I ruined it. Typical Katy, my mind buzzed.

In a sudden thought, I placed my hand over his that was resting between us on the seat, and squeezed it lightly.

He didn't react at all, instead continuing to look out the window and sighed, though softly. He didn't move his hand away, but he certainly didn't want mine to be resting on it. I pulled away, hurt, and folded my arms as I fought tears the rest of the trip back to the hotel.

I followed him, relentlessly, through the front lobby of the hotel and into the elevator, the tension making it more than awkward right now. I refused to look at him, not because I was mad or angry, but because I knew that if I did, I would start crying before I even had the chance to speak. We walked towards the door to my suite, John following close behind as I swiped the card before the door unlocked and I opened the it, stopping to place my handbag on the table as John continued walking into the lounge room.

I sighed, shutting my phone off and placing it into my bag, before I forced myself to walk towards the living room, as much as I didn't want to. I was dreading this conversation like no other. I just hope he would understand, and that he wouldn't become too vexed in the heat of the moment.

I shuffled my feet as I slowly walked toward the lounge room, feeling like my heart was about to combust out of my chest. I could feel my ears throbbing, my blood pumping, my eyes watering, my body shaking. This was all a misunderstanding, and I wasn't too sure why I was so nervous about it. Surely once I tell him, everything will pan out, right? Wrong, the thoughts in my head spoke. You've really done it this time, Katheryn.