Is it Real or Not?

Chapter 9

Carter's POV

A couple days later, I hadn't talked to Michael or anyone, for that matter. I was laying in my bed, watching tv and eating some vanilla ice cream. Michael calls at least 3 or 4 times a day but I dont really have anything to say to him.

I've been thinking about everything that his father said and maybe he's right. Maybe Michael does see me as just a whore, maybe that's the real reason he doesn't want to be with me.
In the middle of my thoughts, the phone started ringing again. I groaned because I knew that it was only Michael. I waited for the ringing to stop and my answering machine came on.

Hey, you've reached Carter. Sorry I can't get to the phone but if you leave your name and number, I'll be sure to call you back. Bye.

Carter? Please answer the phone baby. You have to talk to me. I miss you so much. Please call me back.

I rolled my eyes and continued watching tv. 5 minutes later, the phone rang again. I let it go to the machine again.

Hey, you've reached Carter. Sorry I can't get to the phone but if you leave your name and number, I'll be sure to call you back. Bye.

Carter, I know you're there. Answer the damn phone. You're being childish. I don't know what I did wrong but ignoring me won't make you feel any better. Call me.

He hung up. He was right: ignoring him wouldn't make me feel any better but I've always been the type to run away from my problems when it comes to love.

I figured he finally caught the hint that I didn't wanna talk to him because he didn't call again. A hour had passed and I was almost asleep when the doorbell rung. Groaning, I got up and went downstairs. I opened the door without looking through the peep hole.

"Michael?" I said, shocked. He was standing on my porch looking very pissed. He had his arms folded across his chest and a frown on his face.

"Surprised to see me?"

"Yeah. I didn't think you would come to my house again after what happened Monday."

Two days ago, Michael showed up to my house trying to get me to talk to him. I didn't want to see him and I told him that but he wouldn't leave so I left him outside. He stayed out there till 6 in the morning.

"What can I say? Im determined. Can I come in?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No."

"Can I ask why not?"

"You can always ask, that doesn't mean you'll get an answer."

"Have you always been a sarcastic asshole? Or is this new?"

I shrugged. "It shows up when I let it."

"I know Joseph said something to you."

My eyes widened. He scoffed. "How dumb do you think I am baby? You were fine before you talked to him and somehow you were crying when y'all finished."

"Do you know he told me to stay away from you?"

"Joseph says that to anyone who tries to get close to me. He thinks he has to "protect me" cause Im the only one in the family who's bringing in money. Well, me and Janet."

"But....he was right. I am distracting you."

"Carter, no you're not."

"How many times have you been in the studio since we started messing around?"

He thought about it for a second. "Twice."

"See? And we've been messing around for 5 months. That's not a good ratio."

"Carter, I don't need you to do that to me. I have enough people breathing down my back as it is. I just you to be Carter and be there for me."

"But your father....."

"Fuck Joseph. He's not the dictator of my life anymore. I can make my own decisions and I decided that I don't wanna lose you."

"You're not losing me but maybe we should back off this a little bit."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What do you mean, back off? Don't you love me?"

"Michael, of course I do but-"

"But nothing. You don't back off of someone you love."

"I want you to do what you have to do. You're Michael Jackson. You have responsibilities."

"What did I tell you about that?"

"Its the truth! You're Michael Jackson! That's who you'll always be. Maybe I didn't wanna accept that but its reality."

"So what? Am I supposed to just forget about us?"

"No! Just....maybe we should just be friends."

"How can you be friends with someone you love?"

"Please Michael. Im not saying I don't wanna be in your life. I just don't wanna be your lover right now."

He sighed wearily and ran a hand through his curls. "Fine. I guess being friends is better than nothing."

"Really?"

"No, but if this is what you want, I have no choice but to go along with it. I just want you to be happy."

"I love you Michael. I really do."

"I love you too."

He grabbed me and held me tight. I could see the sadness all over his face, which made me sad too. I just needed some space.

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