Is it Real or Not?

Chapter 33

Michael's POV

The next morning, I woke up in a chair that was next to Carter's bed. I stretched out and looked at her. She was still knocked out. She didn't have a breathing tube in her mouth like she did when I fell asleep but I figured a nurse or doctor came and took it out.

Just as I stood up, Teresa, Andre, and my mother walked in. I put my finger up to my lips to let them know to be quite. They nodded and walked over to the bed.

"Oh, my baby girl," Teresa whispered. She ran her hand through Carter's hair.

"How is she Michael?" Andre looked at me.

"She's stable and the doctors said we just have to wait for her to wake up." I answered.

"Thank god you got to her when you did," Mother patted my shoulder.

"The doctor said if I'd waited another 5 minutes, she would've been gone."

Teresa flinched at the word "gone" and kissed Carter's forehead.

"Michael, can I talk to you in private please?" Mother said quietly. I nodded and we made our way into the hallway. I had the whole floor locked down, for security reasons, so it was just us two in the hallway.

"Are you alright baby?" She asked. I sighed. I could never lie to her so I let everything pour out.

"Mother, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying to help her and let her know she's not alone but she won't listen! She tried to kill herself Mother! Things really got so bad to the point that she didn't wanna be here anymore, with me."

"Michael, you can't blame yourself for this. It wasn't your fault."

"But it is! I promised I'd always protect our child and I didn't. I promised I'd always protect Carter and I didn't. I've failed. As a boyfriend and as a father."

"Oh Michael," Mother reached up and hugged me tight. I wrapped my arms around her and started crying. I never realized how much stuff I'd been holding in until last night.

"There's nothing you or Carter could've done to prevent this because its in God's will. He has a plan for your lives Michael and although you may not see it now, you'll both understand someday."

I sniffled and nodded. "Mother, I wanna be mad at her but I just can't." She pulled away from our hug to look at me.

"That's cause your love for her is stronger than the anger you have towards her. I promise, everything will work out. Alright?"

I nodded and she grabbed my face in between her hands and brought it down so she could kiss my forehead.

"I love you Michael."

"I love you too Mother."

We were interrupted by the sound of the door. We looked over and Andre was standing in the doorway.

"She's awake," he said. "And she's asking for you."

I nodded and walked over to the door. Teresa and Andre walked out and stood in front of me.

"We're gonna give you two some privacy," Teresa said. "Katherine, why don't you come with us to the cafeteria?"

"I'd love to. We'll be back Michael." Mother said.

I nodded and they all walked away. I took a deep breath and turned around. I pushed the door open and walked in. Carter was sitting up and when she saw me, she smiled weakly.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," I replied.

"Come here."

I hesitated but walked slowly over to her. I sat in the chair next to her and leaned my elbows on the bed.

"How you feeling Carter?" I said.

"Sore...and stupid." She replied weakly.

I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath. I wanted to say that she was stupid and cuss her out for scaring the hell outta me. I had to control myself though, because she was fragile and I didn't wanna make her situation worse.

"Michael, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've never blamed you for what happened to our daughter and I never should've resorted to this." She gestured to the hospital room.

I lifted my head and looked at her. "Why'd you do it?"

"I was in pain. Emotional pain. All I could do was think of her and how I didn't do anything to save her."

"It wasn't your fault though Carter."

"It was Michael. I'm the one who knew something was up when she didn't kick, I'm the one who didn't tell you about the pain until it was too late. I could've possibly taken the chance and said something and maybe she would still be here."

I sat there and took everything in. She sighed and looked away from me.

"I know you blame me too Michael," she said quietly.

"Carter, no I don't."

"Why'd you say those things then?"

I shrugged. "I was angry."

"An angry word is spoken from a heart of truth," she looked at me again.

I sat there and thought about what she just said. Was I really angry with her? Well, I guess so but only because she didn't say anything. She probably would've felt more comfortable saying something if I hadn't been ignoring her, though.

"We were both wrong for things we did but we can't take anything back. All we can do is learn from this." I grabbed her hand and held it.

She looked down at out hands intertwined and smiled. "I'm sorry Michael."

I got up and got in the bed next to her. I wrapped her arms around her and held her close.

"I forgive you but don't ever do anything like this again."

"I won't," she said quickly.

"Pinky promise?" I held out my pinky finger. She took hers and hooked it with mine.

"Pinky promise."

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