Its A Kind Of Magic (Previously 'Deciding')

Chapter 44: Those Cliché Moments

Btw when the song comes up in the chapter you should listen to it. However the video doesn't work on here sorry. But try and listen to it somewhere else at the same time (when it's mentioned in the chapter) Enjoy x

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You know those cliché moments in films when the person is going through something, and at that time a song completely relating to it plays?

Well that's exactly what was happening to me. After Beth's accident when she got trapped under the shredder and the chair, we never shredded the picture scraps; and if I'm honest, the box had been bugging me ever since. It was sat on my bedroom floor, minding its own business.

I know I shouldn't think about it and there is absolutely no reason for me to either, I mean all it is, is a box of ripped up memories with someone that I used to care for. On that day, the reason I didn't allow Beth to shred the pictures wasn't just because I wanted to get on with the film; If I'm honest, I think it was because I wasn't ready to cut him out of my life.

Stupid it may sound and I know this; because after all, why would I want to keep memories of us? Because I still liked him at the time? Because I wanted to hold onto it for a while longer? I don't know, but the point is, I just couldn't. And that brings me back to now.

I got up off of my bed and walked to the box. Crouching down I ran my fingers over it's smooth, glossy lid and admired it's pretty colours of silver, lilac, baby pink and sky blue.

I sat cross legged and gently lifted it's lid. There must have been close to 100 scraps in there.

There was a picture of us from the day we went to the park. He got excited because the duck was letting him get quite close. I took a picture of him and then I asked a woman who was walking passed to take a picture of the both of us next to the duck.

I found the tore up picture of him on my Birthday.

There was another picture of the two of us on New Years Eve that had been ripped right down the middle.

It was sad to think I'd ripped or cut them up but I don't want to be reminded of how much hurt he caused me.

Or the line he drew between me and my friends. After all if it wasn't for him I would still be talking to Jack right now.

After sifting through a few more, I placed the lid back on and stood up. I picked the box up and grabbed my phone and headphones off my desk. I plugged the headphones into the port of my phone and clicked shuffle on all of my songs.

I carried the box downstairs and took a small box of matches with me.

I opened the back door, leading into the garden and was immediately greeted with a harsh, cold wind. Jeez, you'd think as its summer, it would be a bit warmer.

So I grabbed a thin cardigan just to take the edge off of the winds chill.

I walk down to the bottom of my garden, following the stone path, until I reached my Dad's burning bin. I took the metal lid off and set it on the floor. There were still a few branches and some leaves at the bottom so the pictures would burn a lot easier.

Glancing at the box one more time, I smile inwardly. I lift off the lid and take out a few, chucking them into the metal bin. Then I take a single one out and strike a match on the side of it's box. I hold it to the corner of the picture and set it a light. The corner glowed an amber colour and then black when it had completely burnt.

I watched it engulf the rest in small flames and that's when I dropped it into the other photos. A couple of the others caught fire and soon all of the photos were glowing the amber colour.

I emptied a couple more photos into the bin and then grabbed a chair from the shed. I sat quietly, occasionally throwing a couple more scraps in, watching the flames engulf my memories.

I would lie and say they were unhappy memories, but they weren't. I wish I could say that they were unhappy, but they simply... weren't. Honestly I had hoped for a different ending, but that's life. And if life didn't throw us these little challenges, none of us would grow any stronger.

I wonder what he's doing right now?

Stupid question. To be honest, I don't really care. He can go rot in hell for all I care.

I wonder what Jack is doing? I sighed. Ahh Jack. I miss him. I miss his flirting. His jokes. His kind, caring personality. Just... him in general.

Is it unfair of me to be so hard on him like my Mom said?

Is it unfair of me to have been giving him the cold shoulder?

Is Beth right when she says I love him?

I don't know.

Gosh I should really talk to him shouldn't I?

Just then, as if he was reading my thoughts, a text came through from Jack. The first time he'd texted me in ages.

I don't know whether he didn't want to or if he'd just given up, knowing that I probably wouldn't have answered.

I clicked open.

Jack: I hope you know how sorry I am. For everything :(

I laughed quietly. It was a simple enough message but it warned my heart to know that he was still trying to make it better.

So for the first time in what felt like forever, I replied.

Me: I do :)

So this brings me back to the cliché song moments. I don't know when it happened, but I finally realised something and the song now playing must've brought it to my attention a little more.

'Miss Movin' On - By Fifth Harmony'

I think I realised when I could look at the photos without crying as well. As I watch the burning pictures, I only feel a small twinge of sadness. But not enough to regret my decision of burning them. I mean I still want him to rot in hell and I don't think I'll ever forgive him.

Okay maybe I will in the future, but not for a very long time.

I'm happy to say it and if I'm honest relieved. I can finally get on with my life properly again. I don't like him anymore. I no longer have feelings for that cheating son of a bitch.

Like I said, it will take a long time for me to forgive him. Maybe it won't be until he apologises. Although the thought alone is unlikely. The way he treated me that day was unforgivable and unforgettable. He was like a completely different person.

Maybe I won't forgive him until I'm next involved with someone.

Maybe I won't forgive him until I'm married and have kids.

Maybe I won't forgive him until the day I die.

But this is me saying it proudly, holding my head up high.

I'm finally moving on...

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A/N Hiya Guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

All I can say is thank god! She's finally moving on! Woohoo!

Anyway this will be my last update for about a week, possibly a week and a half it depends. :(

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did show it some love! ❤️

Love to you all ❤️❤️❤️

B- Xx