Another Part Of Me

Chapter 46

March 4, 2000

Michael's POV

I had no trouble falling asleep last night. I felt as ease knowing Luciana was soon going to be mine to hold and to cherish forever. It's honestly the most peaceful sleep I've had in a while. I sat up and looked at the clock. 5:45 a.m? I guess I hadn't slept as long as I thought I did. I looked to my right and saw nothing but ruffled covers. Luciana doesn't usually wake up this early unless she's not feeling well or has somewhere to be. Either way, she usually informs me.

I stood up and stretched. Suddenly, I heard an awful noise. Someone was crying, and it didn't sound like either of my children. I followed the sound as my heartbeat seemed to increase rapidly with every step. It led to the restroom that was close to my bedroom. I grasped my chest. I knew Luciana was in there.

I knocked on the door lightly. "Luce?" I croaked through my voice that was now fatigued by my early awakening.

She opened the door and looked at me directly in the eyes. Her eyes were swollen and red. She was gasping as she choked on her own tears. I grabbed her by her forearms as my heartbeat seemed to play a symphony. "What's wrong?!"

Her body was weak as she fell into my chest and began to cry into my shirt. I had no idea why she was crying, but it broke my heart. I tightened my grip around her waistline and comforted her until she was ready to tell me what had shaken her so. She began to fall to her knees. I went down with her and sat right across from her. I lifted her chin so her eyes were even with mine.

"Hey," I wiped her small tears away with my thumb. "you can speak whenever you're ready. It's no rush."

"Michael," she gasped in between her words. "she's gone!" she whispered with her now raspy voice. "She's gone!" she sobbed as she pounded her chest.

My mouth could not seem to process the right words to say. I looked at her and shook my head. "Who?" I grasped her shoulders. "Who's gone?"

"My abuela! She's dead!"

I suddenly became speechless again. Denise, the woman who took care of her when her parents didn't want her, was now gone. The woman who spoke such sincere words to me not too long ago.. is dead?  I couldn't bring myself to process tears. All I could do was hold Luciana. I couldn't imagine how she was feeling. She began to cough when she lost control of her breath. I stroked her back to calm her down. Her anxiety was taking control over her, and I hated seeing her that way.

After a good five minutes, she was able to catch her breath as she let go of me. I handed her a tissue from the bathroom. She wiped her eyes and red nose as she shook her head and looked at me.

"It's as if she knew she was going to die," she sniffled.

"What do you mean?"

"Last night she told me her time to leave was coming soon. All this time she's been hiding behind that smile of hers when she's been suffering internally. I wish I knew."

I was stunned. I never would have guessed she was near death by the way she carried herself. "It's probably better you didn't know. You would've spent the rest of your days with her worrying instead of making the best of them."

She shrugged and nodded. "You're right."

"If you don't mind me asking, how did she pass?"

Luciana looked down at her legs that were folded Indian style and cupped her hands around her feet. "Heart attack. Good thing my aunt had stayed with her, or we could've found out much later."

"I'm so sorry," I shook my head in disbelief.

"It's okay," she faked a smile as she reached out for my hand. "Last night she told me that it doesn't matter if she's alive or not, she'll still be at our wedding."

My heart broke at her words. I know Luciana wanted her grandmother to attend our wedding more than anyone else. I only hoped that she could be there in spirit to see her pride and joy become the beautiful bride she's always deserved to be.

I gave Luciana a reassuring smile that everything was going to be okay. She seemed to believe me, because she smiled back, and that time, it was sincere. I gently cupped her face in my hands a planted a soft kiss onto her forehead. She looked into my eyes and held my hands.

"Michael. If we ever argue, promise me you'll always be here for me. I don't want to lose you again," another tear she had been holding in escaped her eye. "Please."

I smiled at her and kissed her lips softly. "Always."

Luciana losing her grandmother awakened me to the fact that I'll never know how much time I have left with her. The thought of losing her never crossed my mind. The thought was unbearable. I have always treasured her with my heart and soul since the day I've met her, and never once had she escaped my mind. I love her too  much to regret anything we've been through. Now, I've learned that those were not mistakes, but lessons learned. She was brought into my life for a reason, and I'm not going anywhere.

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Luciana's POV (journal entry)

March 6, 2000

I watched my grandmother get buried today. My heart ached throughout the entire funeral, but I was able to keep my anxiety under control for the most part. My mother is having a hard time accepting that Abuela is gone now, but I am praying that time heals not only her, but our entire family.

A few days ago when Michael proposed, I knew my life was going to change. Two children will become my responsibility, and I'll have a husband, and my job will be to love them all unconditionally. That wasn't difficult at all for me accept. I learned to accept that Vanessa meant it when she promised to leave me be. The moment my grandmother told me she'd be leaving this Earth soon was the part I knew I could never believe. But now, as I sit here on my fiancé's couch, I know this is real, and I can't change it.

I'm not as sad as I was when I found out she passed away. I now realize that she no longer has to suffer or hide her pain like she did here. She can rest, and that's all I've ever wanted. I know it would break her heart to see me cry, and I can't do that to her. I love her too much. Say hi to my daughter up there, Abuela. And tell her I love her more then she could ever know.

I thank God for Michael everyday. I know how often he hides behind his pain and his smiles, but I know it's not my place to address him about it. My job, as a soon to be wife, is to make sure I enjoy my time with him while I have it. He's made enough room for me in his heart as I did for him, and that will always be enough for me. I shall comfort and cherish him whenever he needs me. I will step up as a stepmother and protect his children as they are my own.

As I open this new chapter of my life, I thank God for giving me a second shot at life.

~Luce